Profile avatar
aeldritch.bsky.social
25 posts 16 followers 23 following
Prolific Poster

The secret twist to Sixth Sense is that it physically hurts to watch as a parent.

In The Fifth Element, the fate of the world literally rested on a man saying "I love you" for the first time to a Supreme Being™️ girl he just met and trauma bonded with. And he HESITATED.

Mike's Hard Career Choices

When I was 10, I had horrid nightly nosebleeds. Like, wake up in the morning, pillow soaked through, face caked with blood. My nose was so dry, but I was so congested after 1 of these nights. I blew my nose as hard as I could. There was a thick *something* stuck in my nose that I couldn't wipe away.

Parents whose kids are obsessed with Encanto -- on what # of rewatches does it stop being emotionally devastating? Do you stop crying at #10 and become numb by #15? What's the math on that?

need a name for that feeling that strikes in the early evening when you're just oh fuck. oh christ why aren't i trying to become a successful streamer. why haven't i made a movie. why haven't i had a novel published. i dont think its anxiety or comparison stress its a new thing i made up

Okay what is the comic that talks about how lucky we are to be alive because every day we exist is a day that nuclear war should've happened, but didn't? I think there was a multiverse facet? I thought it was xkcd or SMBC but I can't find it anywhere.

I told my kid I had to go potty. He escorted me to the bathroom and stood there and told me "STINK" the whole time. Then the dog came in and kid yelled at him to "GO THAT WAY". 5/10 weirdest bodyguard ever, but did protect my privacy I guess.

Tired of pooping in solitude? Have a kid.

Hello new followers! Here's one of my favorite older comics.

"If a woman doesn't look woman enough to a Republican, they want to be able to inspect your genitals to use a bathroom? It's disgusting. Everyone should reject it completely... they're endangering women, they're endangering girls of all kind, and everyone should reject it. It's gross." - AOC

Okay where are the Twilight Shitposting rats up in here? Do we have a feed yet? It's like the only thing I miss from Facebook.

BREAKING NEWS: The Matt Gaetz file has officially been leaked: An “unknown and unauthorized third party” has gained access to depositions tied to Matt Gaetz, a source says. RT if you’re ready to see it. 🍿

Taking a break making fun of fascists to make fun of libertarians. Everyone needs balance in their lives.

And certainly isn't for "small government"

people who use goodreads: jeff bezos owns goodreads and if you want a better alternative there is a black woman owned company called storygraph that you can use to replace it. you can transfer all of your data from goodreads to storygraph and have your mind be free of trumpie jeff bezos! win win. 💙

I love this. Very prescient.

Watching Fallout ----- did the BoS straight up brand a black man to show which knight he belongs to? Did that just happen?

I know it's not like, the biggest deal in the world, but god damnit the new Bluey episode has been out less than 24 hours and already every headline and YouTube video title is filled with spoilers.

Bro, I wore fingerless gloves for years. I pretended I was an elf from LOTR so I would walk with confidence in high school. I practice(d) facial expressions in the mirror. How did it take so long for me to realize I'm neurodivergent AF?

this only happened bc Elon is a white man. if he were any other race or gender, people wouldn't have readily assumed he's a genius.

Years ago, a pseudo step-brother of mine was dying of leukemia. On his death bed, his sister was showing him things online that had made her laugh, including the most popular videos at the time. I just realized his last experience with the internet before his death was “Let Me Take a Selfie”.

Ended up deleting Threads because of the amount of right wing propaganda just popping up into Facebook via Threads. I barely interacted with it and everything I follow is VERY lefty. Why was I getting transphobic content? V gross

My favorite musical instrument is the whistle that I make when I’m trying to breathe while I’m sick.

The co-founder of the intensely homophobic Moms for Liberty org has been outed as engaging in... gay sex. And that outing happened because her Florida GOP Chair husband raped her sex partner. Real cute stuff from the censorship and book ban lobby.

"Listen to Jewish people!" Ok pretty much all of the Jewish people I know and care about are protesting Israel's actions and getting arrested and brutalized by cops for their values. Oh you don't mean them, you mean the strangers online calling for more death, I see

If your holiday plans are important to you, now and the next few weeks would be a really good time to be extra careful when indoors around others. Covid rates are high and rising and flu and RSV are up there too.

Honestly yeah, toss that money at us and piss off. We’ll take it from there, thanks.

I laughed too much at this. Apologies.