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akmuffin.bsky.social
Just flew in from Chernobyl (X) and boy are my 💪🏼’s 🦵🏼’s
257 posts 235 followers 652 following
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Posts 42 Comments 8

Where will the alternative girls go to meet up with questionable men late at night?

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

Asked ChatGPT to turn me into a ferret. Micro-bang diva.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Left Buc-ee’s with the fam while 2 furries walked in. 7 yr old: omg! I need my picture with those characters! 9 yr old: Those are furries, they rizz each other up in their costumes, look don’t touch.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Mr. Roper Wednesday. 🕺🏻

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Remotes make him happy.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

My mom: What’s name of that boy ghost who fly? Gooper? Me: Do you mean Casper? Mom: yes yes I Gooper, nice ghost.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Old Soviet ladies have no chill. My moms friend ‘look at all the weight you’ve gained. Looks good on you.’ 😭

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Happy Earth Day

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

he is so handsome

submitted 22 days ago • 15 comments

Not washing out that blender was vile. #whitelotus

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Democratic leaders act like time travelers afraid to do anything that might change the future

submitted 27 days ago • 90 comments

Trying to raise my kids with a sense of humor so they don’t ‘well actually’ joke posts.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

I miss being the age where I didn’t have to count cunty calories.

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

An Icelandic butcher named Pjörk

submitted 34 days ago • 7 comments

Not funny enough to be a comic. Funny enough to be the personality hire.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

At least the Houthi PC Small Group chat invokes Cher’s emoji use.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

if I ever die I hope the other skeletons think my skeleton is sexy

submitted 357 days ago • 0 comments

🎶And if only innie could I'd make a deal with Kier And I'd get Him to swap our outies Be runnin' down Lumon Be runnin' down the hall Be runnin' down to the equator Say, if only innie could, oh🎶 #severance

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

School employees sprinted after a student thru the parking lot and the the old crossing guard tried to stop him with her stop sign 😂

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

There’s nothing like finding a letter from your high school days signed “friends forever Jeff” and you can’t even remember a Jeff

submitted 85 days ago • 10 comments

Maybe if I consumed eggs properly my father wouldn’t have left. #severance

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Devour feculence. - Mr Milkshake, the sassy thesaurus king that you are. #severance

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

JIMINY GLICK: Now you, you, you, you—your cars, they tend to run over pedestrians. Or else BURST into flames. ha HA isn't that wonderful! ELON MUSK: *the least convincing laugh of all time* GLICK: *tucking his legs under himself* You bought a website where no one likes you. Why?

submitted 671 days ago • 57 comments

Madison has the opportunity to do the funniest thing and get with Alex, the inaugural music performer. #loveisblind

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

this love is blind season is a lesson on why conservative men are not compatible with non traditional women. They can't fathom how their politics matter so much lol. When hello your politics determine if women or marginalised people deserve human rights???

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

harmony cobel the woman in stem you are

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Patricia Arquette the woman serving face and a master class in acting that you are.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

‘Come tame these tempers, assholes.’ The dev team when design says to fix their pixel padding.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

She’s got style She’s got grace She dropped her cellphone on her face She’s a lady

submitted 60 days ago • 10 comments

Wish I had an influential last name like Calzone.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Do all your fave outside shenanigans in case this March will bring doom like its ancestors.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Oh, now we're dragging people out of the SOTU. Democrats, your job is not to be quieter because Al Green got dragged out. It's your job to get LOUDER.

submitted 61 days ago • 131 comments

White Lotus is not enough. Rewatching The Leftovers to get the appropriate amount of @carriecoon.bsky.social.

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

Thanks for reminding me I have to watch White Lotus still Hulu.

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

The Oscar’s in memoriam music sounds like the dead are about to come back to haunt us.

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

It was the best of times. It was the this of times.

submitted 84 days ago • 2 comments

Me to the Lumon Creep

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Forgot the word breakfast, and asked for morning tacos.

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

When we moved to America my dad thought box wine was fancy, until he saw someone drinking it on an episode of Springer. He yelped in anguish, ‘I’ve been drinking trash people wine! I offered it to guests!’.

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Feels like the Jerry Springer guests are now in power.

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

My dog met the cheese rat.

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

I want to walk (walk) I wanna walk (walk) Sit down you say But all I got to say to you as I climb and climb again I say no (no) No, no, no, no, no

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments