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alarod.bsky.social
3,693 posts 281 followers 40 following
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God (making galaxies older than the universe): Bwahaha! Oh this is funny!

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

Human Race: God, why did you create the universe? God (with a crazed look in his eye): I can’t tell you! It’s a secret!😵‍💫

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

College Grad: One of my degrees was in Music, but I had to give it back. Friend: Why, what happened? College Grad: During a parade, I accidentally swallowed my clarinet.🪈🎵

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

Donald Trump: I will not be pardoning any rioters who are arrested in L.A. because they don’t want to hang Mike Pence.

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

He killed the service dog too! The bastard!😬

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

The place where Mordor once was is called Bosnia and Hercegovina today. It makes an eerie kind of sense.

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

When the Jews return to Zion And a comet rips the sky And the Holy Roman Empire rises I’ll give you a slice of pie.🥧

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

🎶It’s the same old gang As 2016! Zombies! Zombies! Zom-bee-ee- ies!🎵🧟‍♂️🧟🧟‍♂️🧟🧟‍♂️ And they elected a man Who is a Black and Tan!💀

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

Here comes the Trump like a bat out of hell But if he gets in our way, he will not feel so well When you’re a Dem You know how to Spell!😉

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

When Traffic Stops Turn Ludicrous: Cop: Sir, you were invading in a no invasion zone! Trump: Dog, I know my rights!

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

Trump (invading Greenland): This means War! Voice: Ice Cold, Ohhhhhhhhhh Yeah!❄️☃️

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Moderator: Alarod, you are vicious and callous in your criticisms! Alarod: Aw shucks.🙂‍↔️

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

Shrink: Why do you have a hard time talking to women on the Enterprise? Worf: Because they’re human! Their foreheads are hideous! Shrink: Yes, but you don’t use foreheads to reproduce, do you? Worf: Speak for yourself!

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments