ali-p666.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

ali-p666.bsky.social

Comedy & horror writer, mom, Zillow aficionado, meme stock enthusiast...but wait! There's more!

32 posts 104 followers 82 following

Posts 21 Comments 11

The Orange Lump may be rich and powerful but he can’t stop Melania from having sex dreams about Gavin Newsom

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

You: "Patience is is is is a a a.... patience is a virt-" Me: "virtue. Yeah. Got it."

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

My bikini waxer was arrested for her part in the Jan 6 Capitol attacks...I dunno...she hated bush but supported Trump.

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

Why is it normal to leave a little room in your coffee cup for cream but nobody leaves room for sugar?

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

Doing "dry January." I'm still drinking too much but my jokes are incredibly flat.

submitted 119 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone else have a 5 year old who shouts “Luigi Mangione!” in an offensively absurd Italian accent with that hand thing and you then wonder if perhaps you’ve over done it?

submitted 130 days ago • 0 comments

A horror movie where a couple drinks too much Saturday night and when they wake up they realize they have kids. At 6am.

submitted 146 days ago • 0 comments

Moments after I was thinking “my child is so smart” she says, “how do you spell CVS?”

submitted 148 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 149 days ago • 0 comments

Tired of pharmaceutical commercials? Ask your Dr. about RFK Jr! (visuals of someone in a rowboat or something) Side Effects of RFK Jr. may include: -Polio -Bird Flu -Suicidal thoughts or actions -Googling WTF are brain worms -Wondering if that Curb Your Enthusiasm actress is okay

submitted 151 days ago • 0 comments

Enron disappearing and coming back now has 1am “u up?” vibes

submitted 152 days ago • 0 comments

As a kid, I was left alone to summon demons on the Ouija board. Now, I supervise my kids as they wash their hands before bath time.

submitted 152 days ago • 0 comments

Thanksgiving 2024 Mom: "Hey, don't call (relative) an idiot." Me: "Ok. Sorry. His choices are idiot-like. He behaves in a manner that perfectly matches the ways of an idiot. If an idiot and a non-idiot walked in a bar, he would order the same drink as the idiot. Other idiots..." Mom: "Thank you."

submitted 155 days ago • 0 comments

My kids play a game kinda like "the floor is lava" but it’s called “the floor is dirty” but instead of staying off floor they touch the floor in public bathrooms

submitted 164 days ago • 0 comments

The babysitter says we have a ghost watching the kids. So, like, what are we paying her for?

submitted 165 days ago • 0 comments

Mama didn’t raise no fool. Meaning me, but not my brother.

submitted 166 days ago • 0 comments