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allyempey.bsky.social
Pastry eater. Crossword-completer. Slow runner. Text thread lurker. xo
95 posts 15 followers 25 following
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Posts 24 Comments 26

Monday Mondayed. (Alt text: local elderly woman uses personal massager for proper indication for once in her life.) 🫠

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

i definitely did not ask to see a daily photo of your dog/grandchild at the water cooler every day but thanks

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

A foto by my Cajun friend! It’s a good ‘un.

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

I finally hacked that elusive bitch, the chocolate chip cookie. Lawdddd.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

if your Family Day didn’t entail crying, reshoveling a drifted driveway and checking the mailbox only to find a speeding ticket, baby you ain’t livin’

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Rewatching Cheers and i am VERY into Sam circa 1984. i think I’m ovulating

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

Happy Valentine’s Day, where my plan is to sit on the couch with +++ red wine and watch One Direction content with my bff (daughter), eventually falling my old azz asleep by 8:45 pm (Wishing the rest of y’all some roses and coitus!) 🌹 ♥️

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

Day One of the squats challenge. Squats completed: zero (0) Donuts eaten: 1.5

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

Important work was completed this wknd, trust.

submitted 31 days ago • 1 comment

Sunday morning puss pic. 😇

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

My red flags just fade to a pale salmon-y colour the longer you know me, it’s really pretty neat.

submitted 32 days ago • 1 comment

one thing i DEFINITELY do not care about is your muthafuckin vacation pics while i freeze my nips off in what seems like month 14 of Canadian winter

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

My sister asked me to join her Squats challenge team, so of COURSE I was an idiot about it. 😎

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

The thing about bunions is FUCK bunions.

submitted 39 days ago • 1 comment

taps 🎤 in millennial “IS THIS THING ON?” *nervous lol

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

Per request. #samsquanch

submitted 43 days ago • 1 comment

Absolutely nothing has changed in 2025 other than the massive eraser. . . .

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Tex’ me when she April, fam. . . (wait, no…i don’t reply to texts a lot. Just come and get me in April.) #HibernationContent

submitted 55 days ago • 1 comment

“Hashtag anxious-avoidant tendencies”. 😅

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

i’m bad at the “dismantling of festive lighting” aspect of January. These would be pretty as birthday lights?…maybe?…

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Maybe it’s the PMS talking but i could see me drinking some gins and cracking some jokes in this absolute mood of a kitchen

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

I just watched John Wick for the 1st time and it is maybe the best movie ever made?

submitted 69 days ago • 1 comment

2025, you are my bitch. Like, if you wanna be. If not, no worries!

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Back to full #brunette for 2025. Tired of tryna compete with these blondes, man. 🫠

submitted 72 days ago • 1 comment