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angrierfish.bsky.social
Now technically a cyborg. Pittsburgh, PA #H2P
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Accurate

It is full sunlight at my house right now, and also thundering.

You might not be surprised to find out that Dunkin' has a turkey sausage breakfast sandwich on their menu. Or, you could be astonished when you hear that news. But, no matter how surprised you are to find out about that sandwich, you're not as surprised as the guy working there this morning.

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Pens now have 3 first round picks!

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I'm shocked. I gotta lay down.

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πŸ™„

Remember, if you wait until you feel thirsty to drink water, it's already too late. TOO LATE! Too late. Don't even bother. You're screwed. Make sure your will is up to date. Kiss your kiddos. Donate your car. And your eyes and kidneys.

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I HAVE DECLARED A CEASEFIRE BETWEEN THE DRAGON SMAUG AND THE DWARVES OF EREBOR. SMAUG, YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO VACATE THE LONELY MOUNTAIN. THE ARKENSTONE IS SAFE NOW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

People: "AI is going to take over the world!" AI: "The size 16-wide fisherman sandals that you saved are no longer in stock. Can I recommend these size 10 hiking sandals instead?"

The smart advice is for everyone to swim naked today. It's too hot for swimsuits.

"Operation Midnight Hammer" is the high-schooliest name of a military operation ever. Surprised it wasn't "Operation Mega Death Slay 69".

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AI is not a replacement for common sense or critical thinking. It isn't meant to be. The problem is that people just start using it that way, then bitch about it.

We are posting this placard at all of our offices and asking our union contract farms to post as well. We encourage our friends to put up similar placards at their business as immigration agents do not have the right to go on private property without permission.

But now is the time for peace.

Of course we should have universal healthcare. It's a no-brainer. But Insurance companies spend a lot of money telling us that will result in poor care. And a lot of Americans are gullible. So here we are denying ourselves basic healthcare, just so we can make sure no one "undeserving" gets it too.

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Got a ConEd alert telling me to use less energy during the heat wave and this is all I can think about.

Dude, it's like... hot out there.

Content provider: "Studies have show that a thing happens." Me: "Cool, can you link the study so I can read it?" CP: "Google it." Me: "I just figured you'd have it handy, since you're telling us about it." CP: "Um, it lives in Canada, you probably wouldn't know it..."

It’s sticky. Sticky.

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Wow, Heggseth is going to be sober by 8 am?