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anna-beck.bsky.social
She/her 🏳️‍⚧️
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Is this real?

I will move, fully submerged in memories. My lungs being flooded, I gasp for air but they keep filling. I wonder where this ocean of thoughts will lead me. I pray that it is pleasant but I know that it is not. Yet, I will move, fully submerged.

Some people just make living more colourful, the most important colour disappeard. I do not know where it went but it said goodbye a while ago. Its love went away. Mine lingers in agony.

And when all is said and done, was it worth it? Do you regret it? Would you do it all again? Questions i'll never get an answer to. Like a mouth sewn shut all you get is a shrug and an "idk". It's scary how much change some months can do, and how visible they become.

Even that was taken from me, a spark that made me feel something for a second. They would take that away from me. My fault for relyong on others for happiness.

I don't like how dark today is, i wish it was colourful like back in the day. Back when i was happy.

Goodbye to a time of my life that i will always remember. The best moments of my life, a lot of firsts. I tried my best.

Wipe my memory, make it easier

The craziest part about.. stuff is knowing about it before it happens. The expectation is there yet it still hits you like a truck, especially knowing you're right. Memories will be cherished, time hasn't been wasted. My love is real, time will heal me. I will not be destroyed.

If i could i would go on an all bread based diet, think about it.. bread meatloaf. Bread. Meatloaf.

Maybe the sonic the hedgehogs were the gays we made along the way

Maybe shadow the hedgehog are the friends we made along the way

It's an egg ointment kind of day, i think

:3 as they say :3

Eat bread

He is so goober

But, i can't

I miss the feeling of touch

Distracting the mind is my go to, sometimes it's nice to just write what is going through it. As much as i can, at least.

The easiest word that i CAN find to describe myself is "lonely", i've faced a lot of betrayels in my life, it is hard to give the trust i used to so willingly give and recieve. I have a hard time having people trust me, and me them. It is a lonely thing, keeping people at arms length.

My mind is loud, yet it doesn't allow me to think at times. So strange, even the sentence i am currently writing is going through and has gone through thousand different iterations. In fact I would have re-written this a million times before I posted, if I didn't just hit "enter"

Ever just sit and look for words but they never find you? Trying to console someone close, trying to write as I am right now? Even in the moments where all I hear is the quiet humming of my computer, and just silence the words just slip my brain. So many words yet none I can use.

Keeping the people you love close is important, that is one thing i've learned in life. We can't make it on our own that would destroy us from the inside, even if it sucks that some of those people we love and trust leave eventually. Stay safe and cherish your loved ones.

Life is so confusing sometimes, all the emotions we keep to ourselves. Wanting to scream at the top of our lungs so that maybe, just maybe it'd make us feel a little better for even a second. Just for more stuff to pile up, stuff to rearrange and redo in your mind. Confusing world.

Scrapnik Island began releasing 2 years ago today, so here's a little drawing for fun! I'm glad to have been a part of something cool that's helped a bunch of people

hey bluesky have a thing