arielcomedy.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

I'm old enough to remember when Instagram showed your content to people who followed you

submitted 11 hours ago • 1 comment

I'm growing my own strawberries! Why spend 6 dollars on a container of them at the grocery store when I could spend $45 on growing two of them

submitted 20 hours ago • 1 comment

My special A Jewish Star comes out July 15! But if you don't want to wait, you can watch it early over on @800poundgorilla.bsky.social

submitted 23 hours ago • 2 comments

The number on the scale does not define me. The way my extended relatives talk about me behind my back after not seeing me for a while is what defines me.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Not all heroes wear capes. In fact, if you saw someone right now in a cape, you'd probably be like, what a loser.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Can you imagine how mad Riley Gaines must have been when she found out swimmers wear drag suits?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I actually am worried about one of our candidates for mayor and his ties to the Middle East, but it's Eric Adams.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I can't quite explain it, but there's a vibe that everyone involved in Ninja Warrior attends a megachurch.

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

Nobody takes their job more seriously than a TSA agent working in an airport with fewer than 20 gates.

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

"If Andrew Cuomo wins, I'm moving to New York City." -Andrew Cuomo

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

I am sad to announce that I am officially quitting stand-up until someone books me

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

In case anybody needs to hear a very dad thing, my dad and I were outside and he just said, "most of these birds are bums."

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

no-purpose flour

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

"socialism doesn't work" mmm ok but let's just try a little bit of it, and if we don't like it, we don't have to eat the rest of the rich

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

People love to think NYC is a crime-ridden hellscape, but every time I visit my parents in the suburbs, they tell me a new story about someone they know suspected of murdering their spouse before fleeing to the Appalachian Trail for 6 years.

submitted 6 days ago • 5 comments

People who make money off of OnlyFans twerk from home

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

Power companies telling people to not use their air conditioners during a heat wave is like a grocery store telling people not to buy turkeys during Thanksgiving. Like yeah, the demand is high, this happens every year, figure it out.

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

We're talking about the Strait of Hormuz? During Pride?

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Great, another Middle Eastern country I feel pressured to be able to point out on a map but cannot.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Women will be like, oh man I'm so bad at drawing, and have fully believable cheek bones that they paint on every day.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Yesterday they were doing yoga in Times Square. I don't know, the idea of enjoying something like that is such a stretch.

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

If you don't put your hand on your hip while frying food, it's not gonna taste as good.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I performed for a high school graduation and I know it didn't go well because halfway through, one kid raised his hand and asked me for a Tylenol. I feel like if it was going well, he would have asked me for weed.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

All these teachers sounding the alarm that kids today can't read, and nobody is talking about the true tragedy which is they all want to go into finance.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

NYC has had every kind of weather this June except for June weather

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

Doctors would actually love for you to know this one simple trick. You're thinking of magicians.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

I know things aren't great because I heard Iran shut off the Internet in the whole country and my first thought was "that sounds nice"

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Everyone: we're on the verge of wwiii My brain: we're on the verge of wuweeeee

submitted 12 days ago • 2 comments

"I may not agree with you, but I will fight for your right to say it." -me arguing with my husband

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Some guy tried to break into a bunch of homes on my block on Monday at 2pm, but he failed because everyone was home. Sorry babe, we're all a bunch of underemployed artists scrambling to stay in this neighborhood, try Williamsburg.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Is assaulting law enforcement in the room with us right now?

submitted 13 days ago • 4 comments

If you've ever said, "This is my best friend. And this is my other best friend," you're gonna love ranked choice voting.

submitted 13 days ago • 6 comments

Myspace Top 8 walked so ranked choice voting could run

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

My dad is having back surgery. So nice to see he's finally opening up to someone.

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Nobody knows the Charlotte airport better than people traveling to and from Lexington, Kentucky.

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

🎶All my exes live in Texas🎶 (they moved there for comedy)

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

Honest question for you guys- do you think my dog will forgive me for performing this Saturday the 21st at Fairfield, CT even though there are still tickets available?

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

It's so hard to be a good dog owner in New York City. It's like, oh I always let her stop and smell on walks, it's so important to stimulate their brains and make them less bored DROP THE DIRTY DIAPER. DROP IT.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

This summer has been really gloomy so far. Also the weather has been bad

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Weird that "let him fry" and "let him cook" are such opposite sentiments.

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

I'm not tall and thin because I actually get enough sunlight

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Dictator is short for Richard Potato

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

I went to an event last night and it was a total zoo (very organized, well-labeled, lots of respect for every kind of life)

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

They say if you have to explain the joke, it must not be good, but I say if you have to explain the joke, you must be on threads

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment