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armyvet1972.bsky.social
Village idiot of bluesky Latest: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lqmk3yojyhz5tnoe5e6zzpma/feed/aaakgy4o2cnzk Greatest: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lqmk3yojyhz5tnoe5e6zzpma/feed/aaapiyantf6h2
4,561 posts 7,343 followers 788 following
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Posts 45 Comments 4

This post by @georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social was so good, @armyvet1972.bsky.social thought everyone should know! Go show them and their post some love!

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

Umami implies the existence of udadi

submitted 21 hours ago • 7 comments

Eating Somoas I bought from a Girl Scout’s parent (no kids in sight) and watching this again youtu.be/q6xVIyW5VbY?...

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

Nipples are the eyes of the chest

submitted 23 hours ago • 17 comments

It's a bird It's a plane It's a grown human in a panda suit, that feels no shame

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

Gonna buy a DeLorean, dress up like Doc Brown, and start an Uber where I will pick you up with squealing brakes, fling open the passenger side gull wing and shout “GET IN! I’LL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY! THERE’S NO TIME”

submitted 22 hours ago • 2 comments

Get out there on that wild Internet boy and say something. There’s an entire world full of people waiting to tell you you’re wrong about it. They don’t know why you’re wrong yet, but don’t worry they’ll think of some dumb ass reason.

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

I bet everyone’s always talking about what a narcissist I am

submitted 3 days ago • 41 comments

You can get out of any HOA meeting by asking whether clothing is mandatory

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Y’all made me laugh too hard and my lower jaw retained the services of a personal injury attorney. I’ve been served. Court is in three weeks.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Getting some mirrors installed on the ceiling in the bedroom so I can double, or possibly triple, the self-loathing as I watch myself eat fried chicken in my underpants.

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

I should have been a seamstress for the band.

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

*knuckle tats* WOOD SH P

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

*knuckle tats* UNCLENCH

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Any time a child memorizes a bible passage, they should be allowed to have one cigarette.

submitted 1 day ago • 60 comments

Oh yeah, totally works. You’ll still have dark circles under your eyes but now they shimmer.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Never mix business fucking with pleasure fucking

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

My service dog alerted me to your fine ass

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

🎵hey sistah soul sistah old sistah coal sistah bold sistah mole sistah gold sistah roll sistah mold sistah cold sistah bowl sistah abode sistah *deep breath* GITCHIE GITCHIE YA YA DA DA

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

farting on the hotel balcony like some kinda millionaire

submitted 2 days ago • 15 comments

i can't go rogue. i'm already rogue. i've always been rogue

submitted 2 days ago • 12 comments

Renaming my to-do list to “To-Duh” because everything is stupid and I resent all of it.

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

Sorry I ruined your birthday by being sad and disabled.

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

listing quantumness as my primary symptom. let them sort this shit out

submitted 2 days ago • 20 comments

🔫 Let me take you out for breakfast.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Traveling through time and space to lick off the peanut butter that your dog left behind

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I am unable to attend the meeting; I have just invented the Mouth Roomba, a relentless robot that looks like an ordinary disgusting wad of tobacco, but which travels throughout your mouth leaving it immaculately clean in a convenient daily 6-hour cycle that cannot be interrupted

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

The cosmic design is unfolding in my followers’ favor today

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

my butthole has undergone so many searches since 9/11

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

I'll use my last credit to fastpass W.A.P. at this Rotary Club meeting, idgaf.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

You always hear about that college fad from the early 1960s where they would cram as many people into a Volkswagen bug as possible, but what they don’t tell you about is the other fad, which was sucking professor cock for high grades

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Every time I’m mean to my husband, he pops a boner. Pavlov’s hog.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

The NYT Brownie Cookies 3/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips 1/3 cup cocoa powder 1 tsp instant espresso 1/2 cup unsalted butter 2 large eggs (room temp) 3/4 cups granulated sugar 1/2 cup brown sugar 1 tsp salt 2 tsp vanilla extract 3/4 cup flour (Recipe method in replies)

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

I’ve been eyeing this at the store for weeks and decided it would’ve been a frivolous purchase, but my husband must’ve noticed my longing and snapped it up and then hid it from me. It makes me feel really loved and I will have my revenge.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

“I could write one about eating ass and they’d love it.” -Mozart 1782

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Today I have broken two chairs and cried a lot.

submitted 2 days ago • 13 comments

Texting all my enemies “it’s my Friday today” just to add a little unnecessary suffering to their day.

submitted 3 days ago • 16 comments

I don’t subskeet. I superskeet. (This might be a subskeet)

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Darth Vader's full name was Dartholomew Space Invader

submitted 2 days ago • 29 comments

I have never seen anyone being nasty towards a server in person before. I’ve seen it in movies, TV shows and what not. Where the fuck do you people live where you see this shit regularly?

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

it’s ok to eat dicks cuz they don’t have any feelings

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

2012 was 13 years ago, even our apocalypse is slow and dumb, how embarrassing

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I ordered a dirty martini tonight and it whispered to me, “Ima fuck you out the bearded barley once we blow this pop stand.”

submitted 4 days ago • 7 comments

o’clock is such a weird word does it mean all time is irish?

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

Give a girl an inch, and she always wants the other 3

submitted 5 days ago • 10 comments