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askasub.bsky.social
writer. podcaster. fairy submother. 🧚🏻‍♀️ as seen in Vice, TIME, the Savage LoveCast & in your favorites folder since 2019 http://linktr.ee/askasub
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I made Severance memes

when i start to get the sub swoons for someone hot, respectful, and funny

Happy ten years to this bad boy.

this is for 4 people

the tumblr girlies have given christianity the virgin suicides aesthetic … am i living?

RIP David Lynch, you would’ve loved hoes doing shoots in your honor 🐇❤️‍🔥

Sexy time doesn’t need to be a hassle.

Aldi has 25 cent avocados if you want to make a big guac for the game tomorrow or fill an inflatable pool in the living room with it tonight for your Key Party

being my friend is a special curse

While everyone's distracted at the orgy, I go around and turn off motion smoothing on all the TVs.

me making memes about holding it while he pees while the nation burns

when i start making piss kink and foot fetish jokes in mixed company

If you're struggling financially due to government fuckery or for any reason really and you need infant formula talk to your pediatrician we can hook you up and don't like to ask questions.

Do you know why a president would do all the most evil and heinous shit via Executive Order? Because his party can't easily make it law. And if they can't make it law, they can't make it last. Don't let anyone make you feel like this is The End. Do not let them demoralize you. Live to see them die.

Like my home office, I do excel in debasement.

it puts the lotion on the skin, and then does it again bc it loves it's skincare routine

me and the group chat judging your unsolicited ‘u up’ text

“It’s an unfair comparison, but the core tension between these films is the question of whether a real-world depiction of kink can ever hold a candle to a metaphorical, Rorschach test of a monster-fucking horror story.” open.substack.com/pub/askasub/...

tonight i took a cozy nap in a screening of nosferatu what does this say about my nervous system

love getting instagram ads for articles i’ve tried to read but are behind a paywall. capitalism working great no notes

why aren’t people pronouncing the ‘th’ in ‘aesthetic’ anymore? i hate it

I don’t believe in “political cowardice” — no matter what they claim or what you want to believe about them, politicians are doing what they want to do. They’re not afraid to do the right thing, they’re assholes.

Bookmarking this for the next time someone tells me trans activism in the US is too confrontational

My favorite part of Star Wars is when the angry guy was like "call me daddy"

beauty standards are out of control bc i recently investigated getting lip filler before it even occurred to me to just wear lipstick

[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.

The year is 2035. I meet President AOC in the Oval Office. "You've done well," she says. "By telling men to dress gay, you've lowered the population rate by 90%, thereby reducing carbon emissions." She slides me a manilla envelope. I can now afford a home in a walkable neighborhood

“if you get a tattoo you’ll have to live with it for the rest of your life” you literally don’t. i have fewer than 10 and there are some i straight up forget about for 6-8 months at a time

idk how to put this but i’m seeing my timelines clogged with surprise at evil fucks acting like evil fucks and it’s making me feel insane. what can we do? what can we build? what can we prepare so the next time we’re not shocked?

I’m not a pervert but sometimes I talk dirty to the ketchup bottle when I spank it’s lil bottom

don’t you wish you could use the location tracker to assess your partner’s emotions as well

cock and ball torture is me not getting enough cock and balls