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aspartame.bsky.social
>INVENTORY You are carrying cup of coffee, tiny dog, stack of books, way too much information about hollow earth theory sidhe/hrrr
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I'm taking a class where we write 30 poems in 30 days, each a different style. Today's was called a monostitch, which is a one line poem. Here's mine. *You and I Are Like Stars* We’re moving always slowly apart.

Do you live in or near Rhode Island? Do you like extremely weird shit? Then you are in luck, because the amazing Musée Patamécanique will be opening for tours in June. Register now so you can wow over the sounds of the Earolin and be amazed by Chiperace, the Liberace chipmunk! www.museepata.org

[colleague is talking about their long weekend and you realize they’re describing the movie Point Break] so then you had to learn to surf?

Puppet: kind, friendly, made of bright felt Poppet: murderous, witch shit, made of infant's bones and malice

I can only be satisfied by John Cigarettes now.

“Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a ‘bitch’…

Can you give my friend a little something to help her stay housed on the 2nd anniversary of her cancer ?? It's also my birthday this month and literally ALL I want is for her and her doggo to have some security❤️

Happy May the Fourth Day to all who celibate

*kneels down, touches beer cans, head falls back, eyes roll back in head* ... something... awesome... happened here...

Spotted on Google Maps, from a folkloric perspective this seems unwise…

58% of the way to goal!!!! thanks so much to evryone !!!! we're so close!!! xoxoxoxo gofund.me/f39ea5cb

…for thine is the kindgom and the power *deadlifts two and a half times the bodyweight of Christ*

I am past scorching; not easily can’st thou scorch a scar.

WITH RUSTIC WINES FOR THOSE WHO DINE

A List of Joke Setups with No Punchlines

Bugsport

Only one other person in my entire department is in today and I bought a bottle of wine at lunch. Are you thinking what I'm thiking? 😏 (Knock her out with the wine bottle and head home while she's unconscious.)

Very funny www.pointsincase.com/articles/ins...

Rigby is wolf

Heh heh heh

If I were a Little Bee Eater I’d be bragging about my bee-eating all the time. My BPM (bees per gram) would be off the chart.

GM, my bluesky friends. Boosting this for the the "we up, where's my coffee" crowd. So grateful for everyone who has already helped by donating or boosting, so if you can help us today in either way, we are that much closer to staying housed. We have $1690, so 33% to goal. 🫶 gofund.me/69e35763

TWO coworkers didn't tell me I had something in my teeth! What the fuck, people.

All this supply chain chatter has me laying in supplies. I remember the great OB tampon shortage of 2010! *cues Won't Get Fooled Again*

Up at the crack of dawn, hustling and petitioning a group of elderly men in the Dunkin Donuts to follow me on Bluesky (they don’t know what computers are) :(

My therapist told me to ‘visualize success.’ So I pictured myself crying in a nicer car.

Just sitting here, thinking about Dark City, as one does.

The jerk store is on fire! You’re caught in the terrible conflagration. Oh, the humanity.