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baltimoreoctopus.bsky.social
Here for jokes. Some guy, dad, cat dad, multitudes, etc.
358 posts 191 followers 195 following
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Posts 12 Comments 38

My wife asked "Are you humming that elephant song?" I was not humming Baby Elephant Walk, but I am now and for the rest of the day.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

To anyone writing an Alien movie: If you find yourself designing a xenomorph-human hybrid, you are on the wrong track.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I wish that I could parent like a cat instead of a human.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Just saw a lady walking her Chihuahua on a leash and her cat with no leash. What a time to be alive.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

My son's friend (7) is wearing a shirt that says "PIZZA." No images, no designs, just plain text.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Singing this in a System of a Down voice.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My son wrote a fairy tale: Thir lived a dad mom and son. Thae whir going to a royold casol. But it was a trick, thir whos a evol cat. The cat tock them to a presen. ...

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

April 2nd is for pitying the fool.

submitted 13 days ago • 5 comments

Shout out to the past me with the low expectations.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My 7yo's thing from school. Bragging rights to the first person to guess what that last word is supposed to say.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

At my parents', and my mom asked the grandkids if they want pancakes or waffles for breakfast. 7yo son: Pancakes! 5yo niece: Waffles! 7yo nephew: I don't want either.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Mood

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments