barrysurreal.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

barrysurreal.bsky.social

I've done all the jokes. Now I'm doing things that are nearly jokes or weird. Mostly weird. I hope you enjoyed your dinner.

102 posts 9 followers 15 following

Posts 47 Comments 3

When I wake up, I look down at my mattress and think "Same sheet, different day"

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

When I inherited my father's giant profiterole business, I had big chouxs to fill.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I played frisbee with my son this morning. I should really buy an actual frisbee.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

What's the best day to eat Peanut sauce? Satayday

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

'We're on a road to nowhere, my precious' - The Tolkien Heads

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

The world isn't getting better. Society won't improve. Social conditions will get worse, the skies will get darker, wars and hate won't end and those most in need will be ignored. Find your happiness offline. Don't react. Spend time in nature. Lakes, birds, trees. Appreciate people you love. Live.

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I can finally announce that they have now given out all the crayons.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

My Ford Kuga is currently dating a car much younger than itself.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I've just been told I don't understand irony, which is ironic because I'm at the bus stop

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Top of the pops Y'all.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

What's a matter you? Ey? Got a no respect? Wadda you think you do? Why you look a so sad? It's a not so bad. It's a nicer place Ah Norwich.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

So like I was like at the bus stop like this morning like and like the bus came and like I got on and like paid my fare and like sat down like. Like if you like like this post like.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Why do people like other people's bums? Do you know what bums do? Seriously.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

:what sort of chair is this? :sedan :I prefer to stand thanks and what kind of chair is this?

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

In the pub last night, someone came round to collect all the glasses. Even though I was still wearing them.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

#ReplaceBabyWithGary Ooh, Gary I love your way Ice Ice Gary Rock your Gary Take good care of my Gary Gary got back Sugar Gary Love Gary come back Gary, don't forget my number I'm your Gary tonight Gary, it's cold outside Gary Jane Gary Love

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Remember fun? That was fun.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"It's not what it looks like"

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

What does 'Nicht Besonders' mean?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

When I got that face-lift, it raised a few eyebrows.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I'm trying to write a poem about my broken 3-in-1 printer but I can't get it to scan.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I'm winding down for Christmas

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I love the smell of bus stops in the morning

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Completed it, mate.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

There's a moose loose aboot this Canadian pine forest.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I just told a joke about communism and everyone got it.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Is it just me or does Skeletor look rather pleased with himself?

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

How did the snakes turn an orange into liquid? I let them use Medusa

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I love you to the shops and back

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Johnny Depp says he avoids watching his own movies. See, he's just like the rest of us

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I used to be scared of crossing the Tyne bridge. I'm over it now.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

In Cornwall is socks then shoes. In Devon it's Shoes then socks.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I'm having a garden party. Everyone's gardens are invited.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I've just sat on my own Voodoo doll and now I can't get up.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I started a game of hide and seek in 1982 that I still don't think reached a satisfactory conclusion. I'm still at large.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Alien Vs Batman Vs Jason Vs Spiderman Vs Predator Vs Freddie Vs Superman That's the film I want to see.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Shame on you however many times you fool me. I'm an idiot. I've got an excuse.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Ooh, I'm on the edge of my seat. I should really have bought a bigger chair.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I imagine when i get to hell I'll be turned into a dog and tied up outside a shop waiting for someone who never comes out.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Dear Argos. I just missed two of your unmissable deals. How is this possible? You said they were unmissable. Sort it out!

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

[Mountain naming committee] :That one has been snowed on, what shall we call that Mount?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I'm going to float my buoyancy aid company today.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I've had my mirror stolen. The police say they're looking into it.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

When will Iggy pop?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Regardless of whether the clocks go back or forward I always put mine back. It's currently eight o'clock 3rd August 1986.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Was there anyone (apart from the Reynold's Girls) who would rather Jack than Fleetwood Mac? I know I didn't. Still don't in fact.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My mate works 8 til 4, then 10 til 7 and then 3 til 9. I don't trust him, he's a bit shifty.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments