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bigheadmode.bsky.social
David Lynch should direct a Hallmark movie and then a year later announce it, and we all have to guess which one. (Edit: RIP)
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The story of American foreign policy is one of conniving little men orchestrating grand 100 year plans to reshape the world as they see fit and then retiring after 10 years to become a lobbyist.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

The main reasons I want to get invited to the cookout is to meet Piccolo.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

The problem with social media is other people.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Trump's pick for Secretary of Ice Cream.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

In the oughts, transphobia mostly took the form of someone saying, "Omg. That's so wrong dude!"

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

The millennial version of "A Boy Named Sue" would be "A Boy Named Groig", and instead of learning how to be a badass because he has a girl's name, the protagonist would learn to hate his parents, because he constantly has to say, "No. Not Greg."

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

"Yeah, our mascot is, like, a little ghost boy stealing bread." "Why would a ghost need bread?" "To feed his family." "Ah." "The ghost boy is also a chef."

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

I would never wish harm on anyone, except Nancy Pelosi, and some other people I don't like.

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

The last SNL ep before Christmas has 3 different sketches about office Christmas parties. This is white collar capture.

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

Think about when Luigi gets to Valhalla and his only slave is a middle aged man in a half-zipped fleece.

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

"You mean it's Not pronounced bloo-skee? Oh. Well that's much better."

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

I wish Warren Zevon were alive to write a song called “Busted At A McDonald’s In Altoona.”

submitted 76 days ago • 824 comments

Are they sure it wasn't Waluigi?

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

After the Nintendo DS and the Nintendo Switch, I'm expecting the new Nintendo system to have a dock called the Nintendo Power Bottom.

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

The South Korean coup was a dude about to click "unsend" but them everyone reads the message.

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

Okay, but what does this mean for my Free Hunter meme coin?

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

I'll never forget the words my father told me on the day George W. Bush won a second term: "Americans are stupid."

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

MSNBC like, "Why would Chappell Roan do this to us?"

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

You know what I think we should do next time? Run an uncharismatic candidate with no positive vision for the future who offers nothing in the way of policy and tacks further and further right all the way up to election day. It can't lose.

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

Trump, Elon, and RFK teaming up. It's sweeps week in America, and we're bringing back all the whackiest characters.

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

A lot of people seem to understand that Aaron Bushnell was a soldier but also think he must have been mentally ill to sacrifice his life for a belief in something greater than himself. What do they think a soldier is?

submitted 362 days ago • 1 comment

You: Oh, did you hear Henry Kissinger died? Me:

submitted 452 days ago • 0 comments

Honestly, I'm wondering why I didn't have a bunch of hilarious posts planned for the day Kissinger but the bucket.

submitted 452 days ago • 0 comments

Kinda crazy that Kissinger went out the same way as Mr. Hands.

submitted 452 days ago • 0 comments

This is the greatest day of Netanyahu's life. He couldn't be happier that Hamas has more attacks planned. And hostages? Even better! Before this, his ultra-right-wing government was actually getting a lot of public backlash. Now, who knows? Israel might be an official dictatorship by Tuesday.

submitted 505 days ago • 0 comments

Prigozhin just died? Wow. I didn't know that. You're telling me for the first time. He led an amazing life. What else can you say? Whether you agree or not, he was an amazing man who led an amazing life. I'm...actually saddened to hear that. I'm saddened to hear that.

submitted 550 days ago • 0 comments

One of the best Rubik's cubes in the world costs about $10. Another costs $60-100. The expensive ones are from a company called Gan. I once heard a cuber say, "If you want to impress a non-cuber, you solve the cube. If you want to impress a cuber you show them you own a Gan cube."

submitted 568 days ago • 0 comments

Has anyone noticed that the blonder Ana Kasparian gets the more conservative she becomes? It's like Fox News anchor TF porn.

submitted 569 days ago • 0 comments

The fire alarm panel in this office building looks way too much like a NES menu screen.

submitted 569 days ago • 0 comments

Before internet porn, people used to go to the beach to jack off. And if you didn't they'd yell at you.

submitted 570 days ago • 0 comments

"No it's not the largest. Not even close!"

submitted 571 days ago • 0 comments

"Come to Philadelphia to see our large bell!"

submitted 571 days ago • 0 comments

Before you make fun of Twitter's new slogan, remember that their owner is an immigrant and might not have the best grasp of English. https://www.vice.com/en/article/xgwapz/blaze-your-glory-twitter-has-a-bizarre-new-slogan-after-x-rebrand

submitted 573 days ago • 0 comments

Why is no one talking about how they let the garden on the roof die?

submitted 575 days ago • 0 comments

One time I was waiting for an appointment with an admin at my college, and I saw that a ladybug was crawling on my hand. When the administrator opened the door, she saw me with my hand in front of my face, letting the ladybug crawl from finger to finger, and I was like, "I'll be with you in a sec."

submitted 575 days ago • 0 comments

If you really want to understand the stakes of Oppenheimer, read or watch the classic manga/anime Barefoot Gen. It's a ground-level telling of the bombing if Hiroshima written and drawn by an actual survivor. Frankly, the same schools that teach Maus ought to pair it with Gen. Get it on archive.org

submitted 578 days ago • 0 comments

When you're slow at growing a beard, the process is basically the plot of a biopic. Everyone tells you you can't grow a beard. You'll NEVER grow a beard. Then you grow a beard. And they all come crawling to you for a piece of that beard money.

submitted 579 days ago • 0 comments

I'm gonna have a mirror installed in the ceiling of my bedroom, so that when people look at it uncomfortably I can say, "It's so I can watch myself sleep."

submitted 579 days ago • 0 comments