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blanketthief.bsky.social
Just a mom who needs her Juul pods.
72 posts 16 followers 17 following
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Kendrick Lamar Awarded Nobel Beef Prize theonion.com/kendric...

What the FUCK is HAPPENING

WHAT THE FUCK IS A FAITH OFFICE

IRS better hurry up I’m about to start selling farts

If Elon musk takes my tax money I will make January 6th look like a fucking kindergarten play

“Deport native Americans” MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, TO WHERE?

“Printing more money will cause inflation!!” Okay maybe just don’t let it?? Money and inflation are made up concepts. Just don’t inflate it dumbass it’s that simple.

Why do men fucking snore like that please shut the fuck up

Does anyone know if we’ve got the will to live tomorrow?

Report: Universe To End Next Friday theonion.com/report-...

While I’m here where is literally every other politician? Congress? The senate? ANYONE? No one gonna do shit huh

Nobody can just…steal all his pens? No one? Quit letting him sign shit, you simple bitches.

Hahaha what the fuck is going on

Genuinely think Twitter is aging me atp. Everyone on there is DUMB.

Is anyone else concerned about the Nazi salute in the Capitol or what’s good

Swearing in a white devil on MLK Day is some diabolical shit

Whenever someone tells you that being a mom gets easier, they’re lying! Hope this helps 🫶🏻

oh, youre here from tik tok? (chuckle's lightly ) Is that like reddit for babies

Instagram reels is fuckin cursed btw

Some real stream of consciousness bullshit going on because I guess I have to establish this fucking platform now

Breastfeeding hunger is insane what do you mean I wanna eat a house AND a home?

While I’m here what’s up with snoop performing at the goddamn inauguration that’s so wild????? Like did they replace him and forget bc 4 yrs ago he said he didn’t fuck like that and now he fuckin

Bluesky more like booooo sky amiright

Fuck this bitchass shit where’s my funnies

That’s that me depresso

Donut Pillow Shit For Smothering

Thoguhts Of Life—Ive replaced evero screen in my goon cave w/ a diff. translation of the Epic Of Gilgamesh. My mind has become rather Honed

Hi hello I never log into this

Study: More Americans Buying Firearms To Defend Selves From Toddlers Who Found Their Guns | Onion News Network A new study among the nation's gun owners has found their top reason for purchasing a firearm: self-defense against children who have picked up their unsecured guns.

i do not want supporters of a racist fascist rapist bigot anywhere near me tbh i do not think that is an unreasonable position tbh

What the fuck is going on

Sweating RFK Jr. Performs Self-Surgery To Extract Big Mac From Stomach theonion.com/sweating-rfk...

Nobody was reading BSKY or using it and I shouted into the void too much oh no friends

MY TL IS SO UNHINGED??????? OH NO????????

I guess this is cool now??

This is my formal announcement that I’m fucking gonna lose my goddamn mind

Trying to be cool on my regular social media platforms but for the record-fuck you Julie lol

Lmao this person did it again and now isn’t talking to me. As if I’m the problem.

Idk man being fucking retarded and insane has worked out for me this long

“Fix your eyes on Jesus” bro fix your eyes on an adult instead of your youth group kid tf 👀

Trauma? What do you mean I have trauma? I haven’t been to war.

oh it's this easy?

Human beings are designed real bad. I can grow an entire, functioning human being but my bad knee? That shit will never be the same.

No babe I still think you’re cool it’s just the way you interjected the most self righteous response into a casual conversation threw me off

“We’ll tell you if anything happens” means exactly that. Shut the fuck up.

Quit piercing your babies ears. You’re bad and you should feel bad.

We love being at our due date and sleeping on puppy pads