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bonelesshotdog.bsky.social
some of you have never choked to death on the bone they left in your hotdog and it shows
51 posts 9 followers 10 following
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*furtively googling "can the FBI read my Google search history" followed by "how to throw a surprise birthday party for the FBI if they can read my Google search history"*

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Nobody talks about the valiant mimes who gave their lives on February 14 in the Paris Street Performer Riots of '58... We should make a holiday of this... We could call it.................................................................................................!!!!!!!

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

For the despairing and overwhelmed, an excellent listen: open.spotify.com/episode/2SIS...

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

@bostonghost.bsky.social😙

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

y'all know a ghost can't legally sell you a house, right?

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment

logged out of Twitter due to tanked mental health but must inform the world of a "saddest short story" scenario where someone writes "for sale. baby shoes, outgrown by 269" (with the implication of that # describing the # of babies that lived at least long enough to outgrown the shoes), & then

submitted 382 days ago • 1 comment

We don't talk enough about how that chuck palahunik book with "guts" in it made me too scared to apply to any sort of residency or retreat. I might be misremembering most of the book but now I'm also very afraid of freezing to death.

submitted 480 days ago • 1 comment

**a debate** THEM: there should be a name for when you accidentally leave a knife on the kitchen counter and almost cut your finger on it ME: counterpoint,

submitted 486 days ago • 0 comments

the andys didn't think it would be funny if i said "to what do i owe this andy?" whenever i encounter the two of them, and i'm about to make that everybody's problem

submitted 490 days ago • 0 comments

(me working on reframing my life to survive my life, coming home from work) another successful day at the idiot factory, where my one goal is only to make sure i leave work stupider and more miserable than when i got there my therapist: great job

submitted 498 days ago • 0 comments

i've developed a new stress rxn to my job, which is a burning sensation in my mouth which typically begins partway through monday and is gone by partway through saturday. makes a shitty situation worse. very stupid brain, very stupid body. #whinyfuckingbitch

submitted 499 days ago • 0 comments

the term "ne'er do well" was invented to describe a specific historic rapscallion who would always steal letters off church letter sign things so their messages looked profane

submitted 504 days ago • 0 comments

were i a fast food worker trying to make my various illegal side hustles my main gig, my catchphrase would be, "you want crimes with that?" and *voice breaking* please. please .. my family won't even look at me

submitted 504 days ago • 0 comments

"we're the daughters of the hot dogs you couldn't de-bone" - cotton mather

submitted 514 days ago • 0 comments

happy October, which is May for people who aren't cowards

submitted 514 days ago • 1 comment

*tips fedora* m'night shyamalan 2005 or whatever: please sir. My references. My family is dying

submitted 515 days ago • 0 comments

me, someone who thinks I deserve universal admiration for posting stupid shit online like "sheep of police": hey whose job is it to find ewe when you're on the lamb

submitted 515 days ago • 0 comments

me, groggily opening google the morning after a particularly unhinged night: please let me have committed no muppet-based crimes last night please let me have committed no muppet-based crimes last night

submitted 520 days ago • 0 comments

[grad school essay] 1st draft (idealistic, somehow got enough sleep): fight me if u disagree w/ my analysis 8th draft (bleeding from my eyes, it's due 5 days ago): To those who would be inspired to contest my interpretation, I offer a standing invitation to expound on your impulse in propria persona

submitted 522 days ago • 0 comments

me (foaming at the mouth, texting every nobel laureate i have on speed dial): should i legally change my name to Where Does the Big Red Round Thing Go On the Clown or is that too on the nose

submitted 525 days ago • 1 comment

i want to become a figure model for the free tomatoes. when the artists see who they have to depict and boo me out of the studio i would hope they'd have the decency to do it with tomatoes

submitted 528 days ago • 1 comment

by the grace of dictionary dot come i just learned the word EGGCORN, "a word or phrase that is a seemingly logical alteration of another word or phrase that sounds similar and has been misheard or misinterpreted," the amount of solace this word (and that it's THIS word) brings to my life is IMMENSE

submitted 528 days ago • 1 comment

I haven't slept enough in the last 40 hours and I spent 16/17 of my therapy session calculating session costs and weeping, so here's the sole dopamine hit my brain has managed to tooth-scraper out of its butt:

submitted 532 days ago • 1 comment

if i had a nickel for every time no one at this goddamn place knows libraries exist, i would actually be paid a living wage #bitter #bitchy #imstupid #whiningbecausemylifeisdumb #angryatpeopleforstupidreasons #collectiveamnesiaregardingtheexistenceoflibrariesconspiracytheory

submitted 533 days ago • 1 comment