boringbryan.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

I drive a subaru and people always think they're illuminating me when they tell me it's the lesbian car like that's not the reason i got it

submitted 33 days ago • 106 comments

This comment was a lot this morning. Funny sad both.

submitted 33 days ago • 10 comments

This is a long shot but is there anyone here who could lend me the blueprints for Fort Knox, a supply of Delta-9 nerve gas, a dirty bomb, and a private army?

submitted 34 days ago • 259 comments

An alcoholic, a rapist, and an abuser walk into a bar. The bartender says: “You’re actually banned from ALL Chili’s locations, Mr. Hegseth.”

submitted 34 days ago • 25 comments

submitted 44 days ago • 70 comments

Arnold Schwarzenegger. American.

submitted 47 days ago • 6 comments

before i got banned from this online poker site i used to tell people i was driving the whole time i was playing and they always lost their shit

submitted 504 days ago • 101 comments

The Godfather Part II is a New Year’s Eve movie

submitted 57 days ago • 189 comments

Carter has passed. An accomplished man. A brilliant legacy. Although for many of us he died years ago when he refused to condemn, gamer gate

submitted 59 days ago • 219 comments

My heart goes out to all the grown children who have had to figure out how to install wifi extenders for their parents so they can see the full complement of Ring cameras they’ve installed around the perimeter of their home in suburbs with crime rates of zero

submitted 60 days ago • 144 comments

Have a marvellous Christmas, Bluesky folks!🎄 Thoughts & prayers with those caught up in an unfolding situation in LA.

submitted 64 days ago • 27 comments

submitted 65 days ago • 15 comments

this is the greatest typo in the history of this app and we all owe Bo a debt of gratitude

submitted 66 days ago • 59 comments

Does Kat Dennings know we could fall in love and run away, she doesn’t have to do a sitcom with Tim Allen

submitted 70 days ago • 1 comment

I found that I have been happier since I changed from coffee in the morning to orange juice. My doctor explained that it's the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I really think it's the vodka.

submitted 76 days ago • 896 comments

mcdonald's manager: show the new guy the ropes me: yeah no prob opens drawer we use them to restrain grimace

submitted 667 days ago • 16 comments

UnitedHealthcare CEO assassin suspect identified as flugelhorn player Chuck Mangione, best known for the song Feels So Good.

submitted 79 days ago • 25 comments

Dads in Boston describing their gay children

submitted 83 days ago • 80 comments

Mrs. Claus: Where are you right now? Santa: Uh, Moscow? Mrs. Claus: Really? Becuase the NORAD Santa Tracker says you've been at a titty bar in New Jersey for 4 hours.

submitted 83 days ago • 12 comments

My new professional goal is to never work for a corporation that when the CEO is rubbed out hitman style, a large number of people respond “hey, I get it”

submitted 83 days ago • 5 comments

Just witnessed a kid dipping his pizza in ketchup. Time to burn it all down and start over. We've failed this generation

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

Just announced to the fantasy football group chat that because I didn’t spent any waiver wire money all season, I’m going to outbid all of them on the 49ers’ new RB and none of them can stop me. Have never felt this powerful in my whole life. This must be what really expensive drugs feels like

submitted 84 days ago • 6 comments

ME [opening a card from the boss that says ‘get better soon’]: but i’m not sick, sir BOSS: no, you’re just terrible at this job

submitted 86 days ago • 9 comments

star wars did give us a slur for robots (clankers) but i don’t use it bc i don’t want to have to look a robot in the eye in fifty years and be like “you don’t understand it was a different time…”

submitted 85 days ago • 525 comments

Hunter just walking around for the last two weeks, regularly and strategically bumping into Joe and going “oh whoops pardon me dad…”

submitted 85 days ago • 5 comments

I'd rather go to prison than be released to sober wife.

submitted 87 days ago • 10 comments

always "where's your license to operate that backhoe" never "how was your thanksgiving"

submitted 89 days ago • 26 comments

Costco cashier: I was going to ask for your ID, but there’s no childlike whimsy about you. Me: if I looked like this and wasn’t 21, you’d be morally obliged to sell to me anyway. CC: yeah I don’t care if you’re 14, there’s no light behind those eyes.

submitted 92 days ago • 2 comments

Uber driver: “Do you mind if I put some music on?” Me: “Not at all.” Uber driver: “Kiss okay?” Me: “Let’s listen to music a little first and then see how we feel.”

submitted 91 days ago • 8 comments

while dating: my beauotiful girlfriend, while engaged: my perfect fiancee, 5 minutes into being married: my bitch wife,

submitted 92 days ago • 168 comments

This is important. It's no big deal to me that Bluesky totally ripped off everything Twitter is because that place now sucks so bad. But we don't need a new word for a micro-post of a nature we all understand to be a thing. Like podcast started from iPod, tweet is now just a generic. This is a tweet

submitted 91 days ago • 22 comments

Windows has issue: Person: fuck this I'm going to Linux Narrator: and they quickly learned to hate two operating systems.

submitted 92 days ago • 377 comments

As the temperature starts to dip and the days get shorter, remember this: If you ain't on the lease, do not start the argument.

submitted 95 days ago • 3 comments

leaving 1 of my six pack of oreo flavored coke zero unopened in honor of all the people who killed themself.

submitted 95 days ago • 138 comments

Well, now I know we made the right decisions

submitted 96 days ago • 1568 comments

I wrote a story! It's about Andrew Rea, the creator of the YouTube series Binging With Babish. Here is a gift link:

submitted 98 days ago • 1 comment

X: Blocked people can read your tweets Bluesky: We will send an agent back in time to stop the blocked person's parents from ever meeting

submitted 101 days ago • 284 comments

You keep doing that to your beaver and someone is going to call PETA.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 102 days ago • 1 comment

the most annoying thing about living here is tourists asking to meet She Who Slumbers in the Lake. buddy, we all want to meet her. that’s why we lure the tourists

submitted 337 days ago • 2 comments

sure, I’d probably lose to jake paul in a boxing match. but that isn’t my sport. entirely different story if we competed to see who was the most generous and passionate lover