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bourbonteddy.bsky.social
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Posts 36 Comments 14

We may not be getting rare earth minerals from Ukraine anymore, but at least we acquired those precious gems, Tristan and Andrew Tate, from Romania.

submitted 13 minutes ago • 0 comments

They said I had to be back in the office but the rules don't address closing the door and dancing in my office. #SOTD

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

I'm not autistic but yet Elle is publicly discussing me in her post

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

Skype still existed?

submitted 6 hours ago • 1 comment

"Give me your well rested, your rich, your spaced out enclaves yearning to breathe air free of the poors, Leave your wretched refuse on some other shore. Send these, the multi-homed, unbothered and moisturized to me, I lift my lamp for anyone who purchased the golden ticket at the door!"

submitted 11 hours ago • 2 comments

Someone should invent a vaccine for measles.

submitted 18 hours ago • 3 comments

Due to DEI being closed, St. Patrick's Day is now cancelled unless the leprechaun can come up with $5M for a gold card.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

🎶 Mr. Lover Lover 🎶 #SOTD

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Not a bad idea -- if House Republicans refuse to hold town halls in their congressional districts, local Democrats should set one of their own up.

submitted 2 days ago • 116 comments

Thanked my Waymo so it tells its friends about me for when the singularity occurs.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

DoJ: I'm like super sorry but that word is illegal now

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

“DEI is DE-Visive!” is something i feel like elon should have come up with by now why do I have to think of everything @bourbonteddy.bsky.social pls RT

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Are you sure though? Because at least on person per meeting seems to need to restart their computer because of a problem with Teams.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Much efficiency, so leadership.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Are you a “contrarian” or are you just wrong

submitted 4 days ago • 19 comments

I can't remember which one but these were around the same time.

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

Uncle L #SOTD

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Some of these scenes in John Wick 4 aren't even realistic. A telephone switchboard? C'mon.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I'm in an uber in ATLANTA and this youngblood said he wasn't sure if he knew in OutKast songs and then asked "are they a group?"

submitted 6 days ago • 4 comments

As institutions crumble around me, the New York Times sends me a push alert to tell me about the best SNL episode of all time.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

If I declared myself King I would, at the very least, give all kids free lunches.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

DOGE now seeking to rehire Tracker after learning that Tracker is the only tracker on Paw Patrol. Unfortunately, no one remaining knows how to find him. Rubble is just in a corner digging stuff up and Chase is claiming he smells weed in every car that passes.

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Breaking: DOGE fired Tracker, the newest member of Paw Patrol, denies his origins (the jungle) played any role in his selection for termination.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I picked the wrong time to have four flights in ten days. Glad I already used up all my anxiety for the year.

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

They said he is a good choice because he doesn't need the money so how is he going to pass these winnings on to everyone? I prefer cash.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

You can both give a man a fish AND teach a man to fish. It's pretty hard to do literally anything when you're starving.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

🎶 I like the way you work it/I got to bag it up🎶 #SOTD

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Whenever I type "play on playa" I want to go to the beach. And listen to Blackstreet.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Before you are in charge of making air travel more efficient you should have a history of zero rapid unscheduled disassemblies of flying things.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Hello Sharks. Have you ever been on a city bus but hated that you were surrounded by poors?

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

JD Vance is so nauseatingly unlikeable that he’s literally dragging down the AfD’s approval rating

submitted 9 days ago • 273 comments

Maybe pay all your bills a couple months in advance if you can…

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Today's rabbit hole was wondering what happened to Magoo from Timbaland & Magoo and finding out he died in 2023. Good time to bring back a song of the day. #SOTD

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

This is funny but not as good as our My Bald Lawyer billboards. "Injured? Don't pull YOUR hair out!"

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Her momma called her Gulf of Mexico imma call her Gulf of Mexico

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment