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brxce.bsky.social
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Prolific Poster

Once again I am being lambasted by my critics

The best day of the school year was when the janitor would go up on the roof at recess and throw down all the stuff kids had tossed up there. That’s how I came into possession of Walter Benjamin’s lost manuscript

Wondering what all these international women are up to on their day off. Seems suspicious

Every night my wife and I flip a coin to see who gets to sleep in the top bunk

Oh is there a sportsball on right now??

It’s named after the inventor of movies, Oscar Hollywood

Next up at the Westminster Dog Show we have the category for Most Racist Bark

Nothing on this Earth is more precious than an innocent newborn baby that has swallowed a giant diamond

Nobody publishes moldering tomes these days

Inner Circle actually recorded a follow-up to the Cops theme song in which the bad boys describe what they would do in the event anyone were to come for them

Having one of those days where it feels like my life is filmed in Vancouver

Chat I’m gakked on that Robitussin. That Robitussin got me staying home from school watching The Price is Right. Call me Dr. Mom way I’m zooted off that Robitussin. Chat I’m eating popsicles on the couch

Remember beanie babies? Most have grown up to become profoundly unhappy beanie adults

Having a mid-life epistemological crisis and subscribing to an ideology that’s way younger than me

When this happened I kept looking at my watch because I thought I was lucid dreaming

Calling up each of my friends on the phone and reading my latest post aloud to them just in case they missed it

It’s cool that they made this app into a tamagotchi that dies if you don’t practice ordering coffee in German with it

Finally landed my dream job ($90k/year plus benefits to flee in slow motion from an invisible threat while for some reason my teeth keep falling out)

I’m hearing Canada just won gold at the Stanley Cup

The next Bond movie will be titled "Time to Die Mister Bond, Handcrafted Artisanal Film Movie for Men – Perfecf Christmas Gift and Funny Realistic Spy Gag, Harmless Entertainment Prank for Kids and Adults, Realistic Vanilla Scent 7.9 Ounce Motion Picture (Pack of 1)"

Finally signed up for Facebook

The Cybertruck looks like if a PT Cruiser had a history of domestic abuse

Being born, aging, and dying is so cringe

I could handle laudanum

Welp, it’s happened again. I’m teething

As someone who values authenticity it really ticks me off when I’m subjected to a mock trial

Symbolically, the bone harkens back to a time when scavenging wolves would follow bands of human hunters in search of discarded carcasses, thus entering into a tacit, interspecies Faustian bargain that would eventually lead to their enslavement. It’s no wonder our dogs love these classic treats!

In response to allegations of officer misconduct Paw Patrol is conducting an internal investigation

The Gulf of 55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACOS, 55 PIES, 55 COKES, 100 TATER TOTS, 100 PIZZAS, 100 TENDERS, 100 MEATBALLS, 100 COFFEES, 55 WINGS, 55 SHAKES, 55 PANCAKES, 55 PASTAS, 55 PEPPERS AND 155 TATERS

I have tried hard and never won a cake walk, cake walks are challenging, they should not set the standard for easy tasks

Teaching my kids how to play pull tabs because it’s STEM

Oh, you’re an antinatalist? Name one person who’s never been born

Stanley Cup today

I realize what a long shot this is, but our kid threw their beloved teddy bear out of the shopping cart at the Target at Sunset and Western in Hollywood. Teddy is much missed if you happen to hear of a missing bear!

Going to the ER because I have colic

It’s so weird that a baby’s blood is just pure breast milk

why dog smell like yogurt dog yogurt reddit dog yogurt residue dog yogurt residue reddit dogurt remove dogurt carpet dogurt removal near me dogurt color dogurt vet cost dogurt in humans dogurt outbreak cdc dogurt fatalities 2024 jail for dogs can my dog go to jail can my dog go to jail reddit

Women are so meaningful

Writing a letter to the editor just to check in and see how they’re doing

Bluesky is pronounced like brewskie

AI took my job at the things normal people don’t care about factory

Just learned there’s a lost Raymond Carver story titled “The Mexican Vasectomy”

In order to proceed, select all squares that include your Toyota RAV4 hitting a pedestrian on July 12, 2021 and then fleeing the scene

[me watching dune] this is like something out of science fiction

Posting the stack of books I read last month and it’s all just Animorphs

The new tariff on podcasts will inflict undue hardship upon the true crime girlfriend community

Going to a top tier Montessori university and majoring in Wooden Shapes

Just read The Trial. If I had to describe it in one word I’d say it was Kafka-ish