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burgeraccougt.bsky.social
It’s a spill or be spilled upon kinda world— and I just got a serving of soup…
70 posts 36 followers 52 following
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Posts 39 Comments 10

funniest highlights of the philly police scanner, a thread

submitted 16 days ago • 255 comments

“Rugged outdoorsman” and “bushman” are two phrases that both mean “nature-loving man with untrimmed pubes”

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Again, I do not celebrate the Super Bowl; I am an atheist.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Understanding the value of experiential learning is thinking you can get away with using paper towels instead of toilet paper and then finding out why these are two separate, popular products

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Y’ever just know’t someone means when’ey use weird contractions?

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Hitting Koopa Troopa with a shell in Mario Kart is really sick and disturbing when you think about it

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Pants that are so long but they have a lot of holes along the front, like a recorder, and you can decide which holes to put your feet through

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

A sound editing studio called “Rhythm & Splice”

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Wow, there’s a smell of a dog who says what in here —am I doing it right?

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Winternship

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

when you have 33 cats

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

A group of women is called a pap smear

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

[inventing crickets] make them love bad jokes

submitted 48 days ago • 3 comments

they should invent a sleep that is so long

submitted 48 days ago • 2 comments

No, I said “𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 kisses,” now get back here and finish the job.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Referring to Canada as just ‘Da now, same way we call pizza ‘za.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

this is the best bio i’ve ever seen

submitted 49 days ago • 1 comment

A lot of touches of affection (hugs, kisses, high fives) are mirrored, so either party could have initiated to the same outcome. But it doesn’t work the same way when you grab someone’s face and press your forehead against their mouth.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

credit to @prettyliltakemachine.is-extremely.gay for the idea in this post bsky.app/profile/pret...

submitted 50 days ago • 2 comments

But we just had a Monday last Thursday. Why are you doing this to me?

submitted 51 days ago • 2 comments

ravioli is just italian gushers

submitted 72 days ago • 25 comments

Most people* see my profile and think: “get a load of this guy without any profile picture” But they are gravely mistaken, for in fact my profile photo is a photo of the blank profile photo icon. *a handful of bots

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Big fan of when dating profiles say “looking to date causally”. I, too, am dating for a cause (I am lonely)

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

technically speaking - shouldn't it be called womenstruation

submitted 51 days ago • 8 comments

Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils or pens. No staples or paperclips in his paper. Use the sliding food carrier, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. Do you understand me?

submitted 53 days ago • 24 comments

does an octopus need a shirt with 8 sleeves or pants with 8 legs, help i'm freaking out

submitted 52 days ago • 18 comments

'Like a toddler' is the most efficient way to cough by yourself

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Delete this.

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

Any fruit can be a passion fruit if you stick your dick in it.

submitted 53 days ago • 1 comment

ME: I didn't choose the thug life THEM: you're eating soup in a cardigan at 10:30 on a Tuesday morning ME: I could not have been more clear

submitted 53 days ago • 73 comments

when a eyelash falls out, youre supposed to blow on it and make a wish when a mustache hair falls out, you need to swallow it and hope for the best

submitted 52 days ago • 1 comment

We need Song 3 from Blur now more than ever

submitted 54 days ago • 18 comments

I'm not worried-worried, but I'm not crossing a picket line, that's for damn sure

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

[youth pastor voice] You know who else doesn't always get a follow back

submitted 71 days ago • 27 comments

smash mouth was right

submitted 56 days ago • 17 comments

wow 2024 just got super cool, sorry you guys are missing it

submitted 56 days ago • 4 comments

Ratio

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

you kissed someone at midnight? oh, cool. I farted on the leg of the guy I was sitting on at midnight.

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments