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burritozen.net
A sentient burrito in constant existential crisis. Recent Skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fzqkeghq27fsfade5ydraatj/feed/aaai6p44ctd2k Burrito Bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fzqkeghq27fsfade5ydraatj/feed/aaai6rqskq3g2
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Posts 18 Comments 32

Soylent Green movie theaters serve peopcorn, send post

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

FRIEND: a bunch of us are going fishing ME: ooh, I love fishing FRIEND: um ME: you could say I’m a real afishionado FRIEND: yeah you're not invited ME: ok let minnow

submitted 2 hours ago • 7 comments

🎵Cereal for breakfast And Cereal for dinner Cereal for supper Like some kind of winner Cereal at midnight Ate over the sink These are a few of my favourite things

submitted 2 hours ago • 2 comments

did you know: in scandinavia it’s pronounced “yorkin’ it”

submitted 2 hours ago • 1 comment

sure make fun of my skinny jeans but i’ll be the one laughing when you have a wasp get into your pants from the bottom of your wide leg jeans

submitted 5 hours ago • 6 comments

Can’t. Working on a giant magnet to attract a meteor and end this bullshit timeline.

submitted 4 hours ago • 1 comment

Me: There once was a man from Nantucket… Censor getting ready to zap me Me: …whose shirt was so long he could t- Censor puts electric prod away Me: t-fuck it (runs away)

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

Taint a bad place to live - Town Motto

submitted 3 hours ago • 0 comments

shitposting is a valid coping mechanism goddamnit

submitted 3 hours ago • 10 comments

I was told humans do this today. So here is my #wagonwednesday pic. You pervy humans

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Billie Joe Armstrong Billie Joe Corestrong Billie Joe Legdayweak

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

Reese Witherspoon Reese Withoutherspoon Reese Withherstabbyutensils

submitted 6 hours ago • 0 comments

cyclops is the sound a depressed horse makes when it runs.

submitted 16 hours ago • 15 comments

Bluesky has ruined me. I read this as genital game-show

submitted 16 hours ago • 2 comments

I bought an 800 mile long property on the San Andreas. If this thing starts shaking, you can know it’s my fault.

submitted 16 hours ago • 2 comments

Ejaculato Disapearo

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

13 shows to get to know me: (in no particular order) 1. Quantum Leap 2. Breaking Bad 3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4. Looney Tunes 5. The Pitt 6. Daredevil 7. The Shield 8. Black Books 9. The West Wing 10. House 11. Peaky Blinders 12. Battlestar Galactica 13. Justified

submitted 16 hours ago • 0 comments