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cadencockburn.bsky.social
web master @ local library
1,157 posts 241 followers 78 following
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rube goldberg machine that lifts rotten banana peels off my kitchen floor and ziplines them to the nearest freeway

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

another reason to hate jk rowling is that she stole the idea of wizards using magic to inseminate their partners from my fanfiction

submitted 15 hours ago • 1 comment

my posting process

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

the joker is batshit insane and the batman is jokershit insane

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

writing a concept book called The Sands of Time. each chapter follows a different grain of sand over the course of 2 billion years and by the end you will be sobbing

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

suing OpenAI because i paid for a digital machine-learning girlfriend and im confident they just repackaged the spongebob AI and named it Nancy England

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

i need an ointment to soothe the itchiness of my smurf bites

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

which california raisin gives the best head? what an awful question, individually they are terrible. You need to get the band together if youre looking for a decent time

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

i encourage you to spit on my grave. it will permeate the soil and i will grow back faster

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

starting an impromptu game of bite tag at office depot

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

an old woman was beheaded on the annoying orange ride at disneyland

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

i would kill spiderman by hanging upside down on a pull-up bar and waiting for him to come up and try to kiss me

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

going to start screenshotting insta stories from people I went to high school with and posting them here as if they’re my own pictures. today I will be a young woman cycling in Mykonos and tomorrow I will be two guys sharing a topo chico in the back of a pick up truck

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

doing home decor

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

going to space is such a snooze cruise send katy perry to the center of the earth next time

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

remember when Steve O wanted to get boobs as a prank and everyone said that’s not a prank that’s just hot so he wimped out

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

8 amazing tiktok dances you can do to stop hurricane rachel

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

report: anthony fantano overdosed on dog urine at coachella

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

oceans 14 (the three stooges team up with the original 11)

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

youtube is a great tool for getting your summer body ready

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

DEI and IKEA (doxed everyone’s info and i know everyone’s address)

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

piling the kids in the car and taking them to see Sopranos on Ice

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

streamer fail (REAL)

submitted 7 days ago • 3 comments

i generate enough whimsy to put entire clown colleges out of business

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

the Try Guys are back and this time they’re trying penis

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

rejoice! metaverse 2.0 is adding genital warts and cellulite to all avatars

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment