carbonated-man.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Hooome! Finally! On like 3 different pain killers amd some antibiotic rn. Woke up in the middle of tge night last moght with the left side of my face all blown up likr someone shived a softball inside of my cheek. (1)

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

Things you say when you're stoned... "Hey bro... what're you doing?" "Nothing man. Just... trying to catch my breath... Without breathing."

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Okay so lemme see if I've got this straight? We got AD and 1 first rounder going to the Mavs in exchange for Luka going to the Lakers a few days ago. And now a 5 team trade just went through to get Jimmy Butler on the Warriors? WTF is going on with the trades this year? This shit is crazy!

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Was joking around and BSing with my lil bro and a mutual friend. Bro says "Let me weigh in on this real quick." My reaction: "Weigh in? MFer noone cares about your half a pound. Oh, I'm sorry wouldn't want to make you seem fat, I meant half an ounce."

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I just laughed so hard I woke the cat. (But it also true. Someone please help.)

submitted 18 days ago • 11 comments

When I was in highschool my mother warned me that spending too much time on the internet would be bad for my mental health. Ever since then I've been telling myself that she was wrong. But the past two weeks have me wondering if I should start calling her Nostramomus.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Me: walks in kitchen to get a cuppa. Pot is empty. Looks at rack with different coffee flavors. Grabs one, sets up new pot. Walks out of kitchen. 5 seconds later: What flavor did I make?!?!?!?

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 22 days ago • 3 comments

submitted 22 days ago • 5 comments

submitted 23 days ago • 4 comments

I understand not being able to get a driver's license w/ my epilepsy is for for everybody's safety, and I'd hate myself if I had a seizure behind the wheel and accidentally deleted a few folks. But did lawmakers ever consider forcing me to be a pedestrian means I get soaked everytime it rains? Huh?

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers. 11:

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Current Job hunt status: I just walked past a mouse in my kitchen holding up a sign that said "Will squeak for crumbs." and sat down next to him with my own sign that said "Me Too".

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

I just stole this. ❤️

submitted 25 days ago • 10 comments

don't worry, sooner or later tyrants will tire themselves out. no wait, i'm thinking of toddlers. no wait...

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Actually got some plans for Valentine's day this year! 🤯 Shrink's office just called to confirm my appointment for 1:30 pm 🤪

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

i love listening to the same song on repeat for hours on end cause that's normal

submitted 25 days ago • 15 comments

Trying to get to sleep and my brain won't shut up. It's just running wild with stupid stuff like "Maybe Yoda talks funny because he's got a speech impediment and a learning disability, so he really had to struggle and overcome to get as good as he was." Disabled magical muppets. I just want sleep. 😭

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Post yourself as a drink:

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 25 days ago • 5 comments

Jsust heard about the whole bus driver in Seattle thing, and I'm strongly considering making "Gargle my balls." my new motto.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Name a band for every letter in your name R - Rancid O - Oasis B - Blink 182 E - Everclear R - The Rifles T - Third Eye Blind

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

(Almost forgot to do this today) 20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers. 10:

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Shout out to the cashier at my local mini-mart. Smokes just went up again without me noticing, and I didn't even have enough cash to buy the cheap generic ones. So she just covered the buck and a half difference for me without me even asking. Cool lady. 👍

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Clears out old follows who went inactive or stopped being funny. Accidentally unfollows a few who folks are both still active and funny. *Panics over how soon is too soon to quietly refollow without shit looking weird.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes looking for a job feels like you're trying to climb up a wall, but the wall is highly polished steel and there's a steady stream of melted butter getting poured down it.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

20 books that influenced you. No explanations, no reviews, just covers. 9:

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Snark Duck Monday. If we should be genuinely interested in other people, shouldn't people be genuinely interesting? ~ Demotivating Duck

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment