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carolinedohack.bsky.social
I write stuff.
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Posts 28 Comments 22

I'm signed up to do a Career Day presentation at my kids' school, so I ordered a bunch of reporters notebooks to hand out and it occurred to me I haven't touched one of those spiral-bound bad boys in almost a decade. Does anyone still use them?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Trying to teach fractions to a kid home sick from school and feeling very sorry for both of us.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Don't worry, there's a trail of Flamin' Hot Cheetos that will lead you home.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

It is a compression sock kind of Monday.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I got a little wild placing library holds during the snow and now they're all ready to be picked up. Oopsie.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Imagining myself rattling down I-70 in this bad girl.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Rejoice with me, for I have finally gotten around to canceling my gym membership.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Max is a good name for a child, a great name for a Golden Retriever, and the very best name for a protein bar.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Remember when we were eating fat-free dairy products? God.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I've done enough physical therapy over the years to know that clamshells and glute bridges are the answer to everything. Knee pain? Clamshells and glute bridges! Hip pain? Clamshells and glute bridges! Sunday scaries? Clamshells and glute bridges!

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

In my 20s I dated this awful little man who once asked me how many miles I'd run that day. I told him just two. He said, "Then you can have just two pieces of pizza." Now in my 40s, I'm a much stronger runner and could, by his reasoning, earn a truly grotesque amount of pizza.

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Do we think the final sentence contains an oopsie doopsie typo, or was this fella saying exactly what he meant?

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

That Tubi ad gave me nightmares.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

I never watched football until my stepdad arrived on the scene. He was a Philadelphia native and a diehard "Iggles" fan, and so here I am. Fly, Eagles, Fly!

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Hy-Vee has a buy 3, get 2 free deal on Fresca. When the apocalypse comes, I will be ready.

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Once you've seen the same bad headline 9x it's good to stop scrolling and put on an alternative rock CD

submitted 34 days ago • 79 comments

My kids' school is doing a Chiefs-themed spirit week. But you know ... GO BIRDS!

submitted 34 days ago • 2 comments

I have learned so much about the sex lives of squirrels today.

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

From now on I will choose to believe that the stars are pierogi.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Hmm ... well, process of elimination. We know it's not Chesterfield.

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

My compost heap has main-character energy.

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

Here's the death tube. Or if you're feeling metal — and I assume you are — here's the deth tüb.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Had to call pest control about a squirrel that is eating its way into my house. Guy says he'll install a length of mesh tubing with a kill trap inside. It's a cylinder of death! One way in, no way out!

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

The first (and last) time I went to a club, a man approached and said, “Daaaaaamn, sexy, what’s your name?” and I — half a fuzzy navel deep and feeling extraordinarily clever — responded, “Sounds like yoooou already know it.” He fled fast. Anyway, I feel this pizza is the same type of flatterer.

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Sounds like someone needs to call a mouth plumber.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Either pizza now grows on trees or a squirrel dragged this up from my compost heap and left it for later.

submitted 40 days ago • 1 comment

Oh.

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

I just spent $60 on tea. I never dreamed my 40s would be this exciting.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments