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The Central Agency for Truth and Tuna Oversight (CATTO) 🐟 Trust the process. Trust the tuna. Trust CATTO.
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Beltway Media 2028: Trump’s run for a third term raises questions

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

The Senate will stop him. Mueller will stop him. Jack Smith will stop him. The courts will stop him. Look around. There's nobody but us. We have to stop him.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

🚨NEW🚨: Donald Trump is attempting to strip away federal support for libraries. We will NOT let that happen. Last night the President signed an order to gut the Institute of Museum & Library Services. But together, we know we can show up & defeat it. Full EO: www.whitehouse.gov/presidential...

submitted 12 days ago • 60 comments

This should tell you all you need to know.

submitted 12 days ago • 529 comments

BREAKING: Gavin Newsom announces his next podcast guest, Jafar, the grand vizier of Agrabah.

submitted 15 days ago • 10 comments

To boost revenue, CATTO is expanding public-private partnerships with government property. After successfully leasing the White House for automotive promotions, we’re proud to introduce the Crunchwrap Supreme Observation Room™ at SCOTUS. Justice has never been this bold and zesty!

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

CATTO’s plan to sanction top U.S. security threats has been abandoned after a thorough review identified multiple U.S. agency heads as qualifying recipients.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

NOTICE: Caturday Privatized To cut wasteful feline expenditures, DOGE has privatized Caturday at CATTO. 🐾 Future participation requires a daily subscription of more treats. 🐾 Belly rubs now subject to market rates. 🐾 All purring taxed at 15%. Unauthorized Caturday pets may face bites enforcement.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

CATTO is proud to announce a bold budget-balancing proposal: selling North Dakota to Canada. This will: ✅ Eliminate debt (CBO says “meaningless”) ✅ Boost GDP (finally kicking this bum state out!) ✅ Streamline governance (One Dakota. Simpler.) South Manitobans receive 1 free Tim Hortons gift card.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

CATTO joins DOGE in eliminating waste. By launching bags of cash into space, we ensure it won’t be squandered on infrastructure or oversight. If it explodes? That’s jobs for the orbital debris cleaning sector. A bold step for fiscal responsibility. A giant leap for the dollar value!

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

The Central Agency for Truth and Tuna Oversight (CATTO) is here. We are 100% unofficial, entirely nonexistent, and therefore impossible to abolish. Our mission? We will replace truth with a stronger, more efficient lie. All statements from CATTO are pre-debunked and post-truth certified™.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments