ccruns.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

ccruns.bsky.social

I once was a sea nymph and now I’m a sunflower. My jokes are beloved by the Today Show, Huffington Post, Apple News, Buzzfeed. I’m from a good Circus family. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:wpyca6mmzjnntg7zdb7dd6nw/feed/aaab6u6hleppa

1,207 posts 3,857 followers 1,349 following

Posts 30 Comments 20

Cheers to 57 🎂

submitted 3 days ago • 14 comments

We should probably all stay home from work tomorrow right?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

He was humiliated last weekend. This weekend he bombed someone. My guess is there is a relationship between those two events.

submitted 9 days ago • 584 comments

Is this because his stupid birthday parade got ruined

submitted 9 days ago • 15 comments

I’ve got nothing. Tapped into every known trauma and repressed memory and still coming up empty.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

(signs off each shitpost with CORDUROY CHEDDAR, SHITPOSTER OF THE BLUESKY!)

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Guy who has never made mashed potatoes: Vegan mashed potatoes?? lol, wtf, potatoes are meat? lol

submitted 8 days ago • 5 comments

Hat Chris. Like regular Chris, but with Hat.

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

I’m so behind on current pop culture. “Here’s Coco Melon Cupcake Dinglehopper wearing Sliminnie Flingbop Cerberus couture on the red carpet.”

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

I just walked into the men’s bathroom and saw a bunch of men standing at the urinals. I shouted OH MY GOD and turned to run out but I somehow got my backpack stuck on the door jam so I shouted OH MY GOD again and I’m just hoping some of those men thought I was complimenting them.

submitted 11 days ago • 5 comments

cauliflower doesn’t deserve you heathens.

submitted 11 days ago • 4 comments

On Juneteenth, we celebrate Black freedom, resilience, culture, and the enduring strength of community across generations. We acknowledge our nation’s full history and the long, ongoing fight for freedom and justice for Black Americans.

submitted 11 days ago • 311 comments

If FedEx tracking tells you it's arriving sometime today, that means tomorrow.

submitted 11 days ago • 7 comments

Just call them and tell them they’re a little bitch. No context

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments

On Juneteenth, we celebrate freedom and recommit ourselves to the work that remains undone. We remember that even in the darkest hours, there is cause to hope for tomorrow’s light.

submitted 12 days ago • 648 comments

I dont feel like being funny today. You guz take over for a bit.

submitted 11 days ago • 4 comments

"Cry harder motherfucker!" a single shard of ice falls

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Can any of you please remind me what the 3rd thing is that I need from CVS.

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

Don't take to me til I've had my morning cup of mushrooms and collagen

submitted 14 days ago • 5 comments

Gonna start a dog walking business and destroy the competition by saying in my ad that I'll let the dogs sniff without yanking them away, free of charge. 🙄

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

Other than complete organ shut down, I don't really have a five year plan.

submitted 14 days ago • 7 comments

Yeah, I'm a minimalist, I say as I lie down in bed and cover each foot with a tiny blanket.

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

Someone should invent a person that is sitting on my lap and giving me little forehead kisses while I prepare cocktails and snacks

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

I was just like Whoever is playing music on the jukebox in this bar really knows what music I like! And my husband said Hi, hello, I have been playing the music since we walked in here.

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

Of course I’m rotting in bed all day how else am I supposed to morph from a caterpillar into a butterfly

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

I was not prepared for how many people attended my class at the community center on Look at This Cool Stick I Found

submitted 166 days ago • 15 comments

I am rapidly morphing into the old guy in the celestial robes that is wandering around the Farmer's market selling his foul smelling tinctures from a cardboard box strapped to his chest since he didn't want to pay for an official stall.

Cheers to 57 🎂

We should probably all stay home from work tomorrow right?

He was humiliated last weekend. This weekend he bombed someone. My guess is there is a relationship between those two events.

Is this because his stupid birthday parade got ruined

I’ve got nothing. Tapped into every known trauma and repressed memory and still coming up empty.

(signs off each shitpost with CORDUROY CHEDDAR, SHITPOSTER OF THE BLUESKY!)

Guy who has never made mashed potatoes: Vegan mashed potatoes?? lol, wtf, potatoes are meat? lol

Hat Chris. Like regular Chris, but with Hat.

I’m so behind on current pop culture. “Here’s Coco Melon Cupcake Dinglehopper wearing Sliminnie Flingbop Cerberus couture on the red carpet.”

I just walked into the men’s bathroom and saw a bunch of men standing at the urinals. I shouted OH MY GOD and turned to run out but I somehow got my backpack stuck on the door jam so I shouted OH MY GOD again and I’m just hoping some of those men thought I was complimenting them.

cauliflower doesn’t deserve you heathens.

On Juneteenth, we celebrate Black freedom, resilience, culture, and the enduring strength of community across generations. We acknowledge our nation’s full history and the long, ongoing fight for freedom and justice for Black Americans.

If FedEx tracking tells you it's arriving sometime today, that means tomorrow.

Just call them and tell them they’re a little bitch. No context

On Juneteenth, we celebrate freedom and recommit ourselves to the work that remains undone. We remember that even in the darkest hours, there is cause to hope for tomorrow’s light.

I dont feel like being funny today. You guz take over for a bit.

"Cry harder motherfucker!" a single shard of ice falls

Can any of you please remind me what the 3rd thing is that I need from CVS.

Don't take to me til I've had my morning cup of mushrooms and collagen

Gonna start a dog walking business and destroy the competition by saying in my ad that I'll let the dogs sniff without yanking them away, free of charge. 🙄

Other than complete organ shut down, I don't really have a five year plan.

Yeah, I'm a minimalist, I say as I lie down in bed and cover each foot with a tiny blanket.

Someone should invent a person that is sitting on my lap and giving me little forehead kisses while I prepare cocktails and snacks

I was just like Whoever is playing music on the jukebox in this bar really knows what music I like! And my husband said Hi, hello, I have been playing the music since we walked in here.

Of course I’m rotting in bed all day how else am I supposed to morph from a caterpillar into a butterfly

I was not prepared for how many people attended my class at the community center on Look at This Cool Stick I Found

I am rapidly morphing into the old guy in the celestial robes that is wandering around the Farmer's market selling his foul smelling tinctures from a cardboard box strapped to his chest since he didn't want to pay for an official stall.

I keep neglecting Questlove and spend too much time on Sidequestlove.

do I really wanna disassemble, clean and rebuild the washing machine today?

Wake and bake We in the streets bitches