Profile avatar
ceejoyner.bsky.social
Your old buddy
1,479 posts 8,871 followers 236 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
Posts 28 Comments 21

dismissively calling the guy at the dog park who laughed when I said the yellow snow was probably gnome piss 'Professor Urine'

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

(Shania) Man! I feel like a goblin

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

ELON: (replying to picture comparing 90s Lara Croft’s breasts to current day Lara Croft’s breasts posted by account called Western_Gaming) Woke must be stopped. GRIMES: Elon please call me back. Your sickly child Morty Mechahitler got cut in half looking at a photo of a Cybertruck.

submitted 1 day ago • 19 comments

Pete Alonso got one. They embraced. "Bread friend," Alonso said. "Bread Pete." "That's right," Stanek said. "That's right, bud. Bread Pete." "Pete Pete," Alonso replied. "Pete Bread."

submitted 1 day ago • 34 comments

Deer Hunter-style finale of a baking show, trembling in front of a line of handguns as they tie the blindfold. Only one is cake.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

sad morning for the US hockey team who are back to their day jobs, Tkachuk'ing dick at the dick Tkachuk'ing factory

submitted 1 day ago • 19 comments

this is my adult son pubert

submitted 10 days ago • 269 comments

stalking my enemy like a wolf at the quilt show ready to purchase any that would bring him joy

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Just found out my mentor, the legendary figure who taught me everything I know, is the one behind the sinister plot I’ve been unraveling 👎

submitted 557 days ago • 28 comments

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Are you going to eat your salmon skin? I’m making a cape

submitted 12 days ago • 4 comments

outwitted by the shelter vet I dismissively called 'mayor of pound town' when he invited my mom to visit his work

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

all-star concert to benefit shiftless adult losers

submitted 12 days ago • 3 comments

every tech guy quote is the CEO of FLorpy sayimg "we made a world where sonic the hedgehog can be pregnant so we should legally control real pregnancies"

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

repeatedly referring to John wick as 'John Woke" during my aunt's eulogy without explanation

submitted 13 days ago • 5 comments

owning the panopticon guards by forcing them to watch me practice a tik tok dance 9hrs a day

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

happy super bowl to all

submitted 12 days ago • 29 comments

blood and blade steel taste the same which tells you both contain iron and also I've licked blood off a sword

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

owning the panopticon guards by forcing them to watch me practice a tik tok dance 9hrs a day

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

I wanted to post the op in a reply but really this entire thread needs to be preserved for posterity

submitted 18 days ago • 3 comments

59 years ago today, mild-mannered jim bowl was bitten by a radioactive spider

submitted 13 days ago • 43 comments

repeatedly referring to John wick as 'John Woke" during my aunt's eulogy without explanation

submitted 13 days ago • 5 comments

several govt agencies have already received the order to assassinate the president but can't because of staff cuts

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Kendrick bringing out Luigi dressed as Luigi for a Depeche Mode cover

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

just put 5$ on T Swift shooting Travis Kelce with a 3D printed ghost gun in the first half

submitted 13 days ago • 2 comments

you might feel moved when visiting the Betsy Ross museum, but don’t get carried away! They won’t even let museum employees do this activity

submitted 15 days ago • 16 comments

Newscaster: tonight, a local man is bound by his specific geographic coordinates. We talk to the ethereal General Man about how he overcome this very predicament

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments