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chickenfrecklez.bsky.social
Just a dork from Minnesota. You might remember me from that place that rhymed with shitter. I mostly respond with gifs and pictures of my chickens. She/Her Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:f76ahtgafcxjbveikn3l7yeu/feed/aaac3tthxgrn6
359 posts 1,362 followers 1,048 following
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Posts 42 Comments 7

Who has actually been cancelled? Who has seriously never been heard from again after doing or saying something horrible or stupid as hell?

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

fan me, feed me grapes and tell me which of my chins is your favorite

submitted 25 days ago • 6 comments

Mario. We need Mario.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Considering that anger can turn to sadness when you realize no one cares that you’re angry leads me to believe that a lot of people have convinced themselves that they’re sad when they’re actually furious.

submitted 28 days ago • 2 comments

The combination of totally haphazard, clueless dipshittery and calculated evil is really something.

submitted 30 days ago • 12 comments

I prefer to have hope because the alternative ain’t gonna do shit for me.

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

This is my character for Gloomhaven, Sawyer Leggoff. He has a really big saw.

submitted 33 days ago • 1 comment

I’ve quit telling people that I disagree with them. Instead, I now say, “I’m gonna have to agree with myself on this one.” It’s self-positive, non-confrontational, and just weird enough to end the conversation.

submitted 48 days ago • 162 comments

My spouse is watching Facebook reels of some guy called MrBeast and I’m not sure how I should feel about this.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Just felt something moving on my lower lip and panicked, reaching up to my face with both hands to grab whatever was crawling on my face. It was drool. I was just drooling. I scared myself by drooling.

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

Managed to sneeze spit particles into my own eye today.

submitted 37 days ago • 3 comments

I was at a Super Bowl party. Neighbor of the hosts called Mahomes, “Mahomo” at one point. It didn’t register in my brain immediately since I wasn’t totally paying attention or expecting to have to deal with someone more childish than any child I know…

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

And we hit the ground stumbling

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Yeah, eggs are expensive, but so is a properly sized & insulated coop, a decent outdoor run, & occasional vet bills. Chickens are awesome, but they’re messy af & everything wants to kill them. Also, few vets will see them. DO YOUR RESEARCH PLEASE. It’s not like getting a feathery goldfish.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Coke nail? No, that’s my earwax nail.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Pretty sure we’re not in The Matrix, but on the off chance we are, could somebody please call IT?

submitted 46 days ago • 5 comments

Are there fewer female serial killers or are we just better at it

submitted 59 days ago • 65 comments

Asteroid 2032

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

me: *sitting in dentist’s chair* dentist: how did you get in my living room

submitted 46 days ago • 5 comments

I have felt the urge to throw up every day since January 20th.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

I was never popular when I was young, which is why it's easy to not be now, neither.

submitted 55 days ago • 2 comments

My husband sounds like one of those cockatoos that yell obscenities.

submitted 53 days ago • 3 comments

If you thought the price of eggs were gonna go down, the yolks on you. I’m in a bad place.

submitted 55 days ago • 108 comments

It takes a village … to thwart a village idiot.

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

Started a band called ‘Duvet.’ All we play are covers

submitted 56 days ago • 225 comments

I don’t go hiking because if a bear shows up, you only have to run faster than the slowest person and I’m the slowest person

submitted 55 days ago • 11 comments

I found your nose It's in my business again

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

It’s only popcorn if you’re in the Midwest. Otherwise it’s sodacorn

submitted 60 days ago • 2 comments

. I don't have resting bitch face. I have resting go fuck yourself you worthless motherfucker face.

submitted 62 days ago • 32 comments

My daughter lost her first tooth and put it under her pillow. I replaced it with an even bigger tooth. She wants to play tooth games? Let's dance.

submitted 57 days ago • 114 comments

I don't wanna "Hope For The Best" I want to be a Kaiju trampling bigots beneath my scaly feet

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

I’m so angry, it makes me feel like I’ll never be funny again.

submitted 57 days ago • 2 comments

you’re supposed to store treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

submitted 58 days ago • 27 comments

Everything basically sucks.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Your butthole is the out-route.

submitted 81 days ago • 1 comment

It’s December 12th and I haven’t started my Christmas shopping. Send help.

submitted 98 days ago • 3 comments

Did you hear about the chicken that kicked ass in Hide & Seek? They couldn’t find her hennywhere!

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

This kinda feels like telling jokes on the Titanic

submitted 102 days ago • 12 comments

All I ever wanted to do was make a difference. - Subtraction Man

submitted 118 days ago • 8 comments

Who called it taking mushrooms instead of claiming the morel high ground?

submitted 118 days ago • 11 comments

My youngest said she's scared to die someday so I told her that if she put a super embarrassing pic of herself on the internet, she could live forever.

submitted 118 days ago • 28 comments

*puts salt and pepper in shopping cart, pushes real good

submitted 117 days ago • 9 comments