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chrisgotreported.bsky.social
Stand-Up Comedy ruined my life. KONY 2012 I r like car go vroom
102 posts 116 followers 245 following
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lol forgot I had this

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is having a great holiday. This year, my family accidentally, collectively got me what I can only describe as “whatever is happening in New Jersey.”

Haven’t gamed since I was a kid. What is worth putting on my wishlist in steam? I currently have Rocksmith 2014 Fallout 1, 2, Tactics, and Shelter And have Fallout 3, Mass Effect Legendary, and Portal 1 & 2 on my Black Friday discount cart

An open micer spread a rumor that I’m dead as a prank on IG today and I’ve been getting calls and texts from comics all over the country. Lol I am not but I appreciate you guys. I’m alive af.

Doing this later. Lol off chance anyone in Conneautville, PA sees this, come by

D.I.L.D.O.: Damn I Like Dogs O-lot

Here, I made one of those cringe date posters with a typo in my own last name. Whatever. If you got anything I can squeeze in around these dates, hmu. I’m rock hard for stage time.

Happy Thanksgiving. I have the same vibes as a Shitzu #dogs

3/4 of the Pittsburgh Comedy Scene look like Big Chungus

Stand-up comedy is cringe af

Pittsburgh: come get heckled and heckle at 9:30. Best heckle gets crowned King of the Castle and gets $20

I live in a “fat white girl with rinestone crosses on her jean pockets making a scene at a gas station at 1am” kind of town

I’m just gonna be Italian af and start calling ramen noodles Chinese pasta

Don’t Tell Comedy Erie, PA ripped last night at ippa

Suh

Eating a fucking SHMAGLE at Sheetz

My dog is sleeping with her eyes open and it’s the most sinister looking thing I ever seen

Attorney General John Wayne Gacy

1 Like = 1 BUSSY 🙏

If Linda McMahon and Dr Oz have made it in, you know the My Pillow Guy and Kid Rock have to be working themselves into a lather right now.

NASA: Potential Link Between Extraterrestrials, Giant Metal Claw Picking Up Earth theonion.com/nasa-potenti...

I like to listen to Hatebreed while rage pooping

Full blown adults in letterman jackets creep me out. Looking like Old Kid in Invader Zim

God, I love writing roast jokes. Someone give me a full time job doing that.

Killer show this Friday at Cantu’s Secret Comedy Club in #Pittsburgh. DM for details. Headliner: Matt Vita NYC Feature: Courtney Reynolds BOSTON/PHILLY Also John Brown (CLE), Louis Patrone (PGH) and Wolfie (PGH) #comedy #steelers #jokes

I’m such a hot piece of behind, it’s f’ing unbelievable. SMASH OR PASS??? Featuring messy hair from just waking up and needing a haircut and a bootleg Cowboys from Hell shirt I cut the sleeves off of. New headshots thanks to @CLEcomedyfest #comedy #metal #hotguy

Heckle show tonight in #pittsburgh Come by if you are in the area. It’s becoming the hottest indy show in the city! Best heckle 20 bucks

That’s fair

Australian accents sound like when you play records backwards and the devil talks to you

KING OF THE CASTLE returns to Mario’s South Side! Join us for the best weekday comedy show in Pittsburgh where you sign up for your chance to showcase your stand-up skills while a mob of crazed audience members compete for best heckle. Winner gets $20! Hosted by Comedy Dipset. #pittsburgh #comedy