christyhelzner.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Be best, everyone.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

The plane crashes are rough. My husband had to take a 6 hour Delta flight THIS MORNING. He texted me his last will and testament from the airport (he is fine but still another 6 hour flight away). 🥺

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

On Day 8, after stress testing my constraints a bit, my diet has been officially reclassified as “Whatever the fuck I can manage on any given day”.

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

A diplomatic Super Bowl skillet cookie. (aka using up leftover Christmas M&Ms 😂)

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My company is replacing its HP laptops with Dell ones and I can’t tell anyone about how the “Dude, you’re getting a Dell!” guy was my oral exam partner in college French at NYU because it ages me exactly. 😂😩

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I set three health goals for myself today: a 500 calorie deficit, 30 minutes on the elliptical and no alcohol. I did one of these and half of a second. The third turned out to be logistically impossible. Back at it tomorrow—if I keep chiseling away, I can get a routine back. 💪🏻

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

My perspective has suddenly done a much-appreciated 180 after the past several weeks of total stress. Work got better, and I finally had my first class of my last class which has been stressing me out, but it is a softball class and I really like my group project team.

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

I want to die in peak summer heat When death comes like a cold breeze And the teeming earth rises To devour me. #subwaypoems #returntoworkpoems

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Nothing makes me feel like a fat, old person in decline like late January.

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

I’ve become convinced Minecraft is a reflection of real life. You don’t quite survive. Sometimes a long time passes before the mobs get you. Sometimes it’s over and over again until daylight. But as long as you have a bed, you’ll respawn in the morning to fight another day. 😂

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Home from my boot camp return-to-work/soccer tryout/10 degree temps hell week. Now I just have a ton of work tomorrow (from home), the girls’ school STEM fair on Saturday, soccer practice plus a birthday party on Sunday, work on Monday, class after work on Tuesday… 💤💤💤

submitted 31 days ago • 1 comment

I did my best -

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

My mother sent me a book. I opened it before work today and it was her 250-page, hardback autobiography. She wrapped my brother’s and showed up unannounced at his place of work demanding he open it. Turns out it is an AI-generated product. She didn’t mention that to anyone.

submitted 40 days ago • 1 comment

What wine pairs best with your whole body aching from standing on the subway for an hour in January but you need to not look old by Friday to get a new drivers license

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Until 2 years ago, I never celebrated my birthday. Truthfully, I didn’t feel like I had enough friends for a good turnout. The past two years, five friends came out to dinner. Of them, four reached out and said WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? The fifth I text all the time.

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

My 8 yo is formally trying out for a traveling soccer team. She’s so excited. It’s a big commitment—3x a week and traveling games on the weekend but she’s so hard into it she says she wants to be a pro soccer player. & we get to be the parents I always wished I’d had. ❤️

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

This poem popped up on my FB feed this morning and gutted me open. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I may never write anything as good as this but I can also feel from it how she killed herself. It’s maybe more of a mirror than she even knew, it showed what happened next.

submitted 43 days ago • 1 comment

If you need any further proof how much everyone hates January, I have one word for you: garnet.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Friends, I am delighted to report that I made an egg, cheese and smoked salmon burrito with chipotle mayo for lunch and it was everything I had hoped it would be.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

On my way home from work, my subway was waiting as I hurried down. I couldn’t see if it was the right line so I leaned forward too far on the stairs and lost balance. I’m fine, just two bruised knees and a bruised ego. I even still got the train because the MTA doesn’t run. 😂

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

One of our district managers is complaining about re-adjusting to NYC winter after two weeks in the Bahamas. Bless her heart

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

How do people bring themselves to diet in January? It takes 2/3 of my energy for the day just to will myself out of bed.

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Some days, like when I get home from a long, crowded NYC commute in January, I wish my kindergartner didn’t take her fake homework so seriously. 😂

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

I just submitted my final tuition payment for grad school. At the end of the day, the amount I will pay out-of-pocket is nearly the exact amount I negotiated in salary increase before I even started. So it effectively paid for itself over a year ago, after one year of salary.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

My husband: That guy doesn’t have a humorous bone in his body. Me: Well, actually…

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Okay time to reel it in, get back on a healthy track, lose the holiday weight Also me: pours some eggnog in my second cup of coffee before starting my work.

submitted 51 days ago • 1 comment

I don’t feel any ending or beginning this new year, just the continuity of slight shit experienced in relative luxury. I’ve got good boots and bad sinuses and I wish you all the same, barely noticeable and hopefully non-noteworthy version of 2025. 👌🏻✌🏻

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

After a week & a half “off” with a kid with strep throat and a bad cold who woke up every night at 3 AM for more medicine, it is my birthday and tomorrow I’m going back to work. Just as I fell asleep for my birthday nap, my FitBit woke me up reminding me it was time to move. 😵‍💫

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments

Me, trying to fall asleep and hearing the door creak loudly: Ah, here comes the ghost I’ve always anticipated who will come and choke me to death as I sleep. Also me: It appears I’m still fine.

submitted 55 days ago • 1 comment

I don’t know how it’s even possible that I’m smelling microwaved chicken strips on the third floor of my house with the door closed at midnight but here we are. 😂

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

I’m pretty excited about the ramen broth I made from scratch tonight. A year ago, I was disgraced by some Whole Foods meal kit ramen that went all wrong. But on a whim today, I picked up a giant bag of ramen at the Asian grocery and put a broth together ad hoc. My picky kids were fans! 🏆

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

There was a woman who used to be on Twitter who called herself Hafsa. She said before she deleted her account that it’s okay to be normal, to just watch the world go by. I don’t think she was normal. I think she was amazing. But in a world full of people shouting, I want more and more to be quiet.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Me: I think it’s pretty hot when two hot guys make out. Husband: That guy (Eddie Redmayne) is not hot!!! I stare at my husband, mystified and perplexed Me: No, he’s actually really hot. Husband stares at me, mystified and perplexed Women and men are different. 😂

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

I continue to be amazed by the timing of asking for a promotion back in May. I finally got it in August as the only exception by the new executive, who has now added a job tier in between with strict time requirements for promotions. If I had waited just 2 weeks it would have taken 3 more years. 😳

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

If you’re a person who values punctuality and/or being considered reliable by anyone else, don’t go near the MTA.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments