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coldchef.bsky.social
Undertaker, Overexplainer. Altogether safe, altogether sane. #mefite Anonymortician. Memento moron. Fetid Moppet. Failure is always an option.
707 posts 681 followers 456 following
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Posts 18 Comments 32

Okay so this one always makes me cry. Thank you @jayhulmepoet.bsky.social

submitted 5 hours ago • 8 comments

Bad news for Mardi Gras

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

No kings, no emperors!

submitted 10 hours ago • 3 comments

I am ordering all of my opinion-writing employees to only write about the importance of personal liberty, if they don't want to write on the assigned topic, they will lose their jobs

submitted 14 hours ago • 28 comments

Here’s a poem called ‘From The Encyclopedia of Alternative Facts’.

submitted 19 hours ago • 13 comments

The next collection of short stories for 2025 is “The Lonesome Bodybuilder” by Yukio Motoya.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Manager: "What's this milestone 'Living on a prayer' ?" Me: "That's the documentation deliverable." Manager: "What's the status of that?" Me: "We're halfway there" Manager: "Why is progress so slow?" Me: "You fired Tommy" Manager: "So?" Me: "Tommy used to work on the docs"

submitted 3 days ago • 89 comments

Another person who famously has two left feet.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Wishing a very happy birthday to my amazing friend @dagnificent.bsky.social! I am lucky to be her friend and pen pal.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Bluesky after dark: At a recent funeral, I was standing in the back of a church and an older lady came in for services. We started chatting and she said, “I need to show you something,” and pulled me to the side. She pulled the shoulder of her dress and exposed her red bra strap.

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

A Pope dying on Ash Wednesday would be metal as hell. 🤘🏼

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

*Pope begins to dim* "If you believe, wherever you are, clap your hands, and the Pope will hear you". *Pope begins to glow brighter*

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

Oscars viral marketing.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

new stickers coming up

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Sometimes, when I’m making funeral arrangements with a widow or widower, I like to indulge myself. I’ll ask, “How did y’all meet and fall in love?” And sometimes for the kids, it’s the first time they’ve heard their parent tell their story. It’s always sweet and funny.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Early morning funeral arrangements. My secretary passed the funeral home and saw my car parked there and called me and offered to go get me some breakfast. That’s the sort of kindness we need in the world.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I created you in My image and I am an asshole.

submitted 5 days ago • 146 comments