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coolhandluka.bsky.social
Someone is gonna have to hold my hand through this shit
127 posts 247 followers 239 following
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Posts 27 Comments 23

My good buddy is in his mid-20s. Usually this age gap isn’t noticeable, but he just asked me if women with breast implants can breastfeed without the baby eating the implant

submitted 13 days ago • 4 comments

This director is someone I’m close with. He performs radically life-saving work on children every day, including newborns, and the work he does is so complex that it often sounds like science fiction. He is a real-life superhero. The “pro-life” party will be directly responsible for infant deaths.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Just heard the statistic that we eat a credit card’s worth of microplastics each week. This means I’m consuming *two* credit card’s worth of plastic each week once you account for the weekly credit card I eat.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

My whole family starts crying as the judge sentences me to get on a commercial flight

submitted 16 days ago • 100 comments

ME: if you don’t stop bothering your sister, I’ll call the sushi restaurant and tell them we can’t come MY SON, UNFAZED: why would you need to tell them? they don’t know we’re coming. we just wouldn’t go and it would be fine

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

look what happens when you zoom in. can’t say I’m surprised

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I have been working 80 hours a week for the past six months, but tonight all my work as the NBA’s Senior Director of the 2025 All-Star Game finally pays off. I’ve been offline all day, but I finally have a moment to see what the fans think of the night’s action. Can’t wait!

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

DAUGHTER: [eating chocolate chip cookie] SON: is that poop on her face or chocolate? ME: chocolate SON: it always gets me because poop is the same color as chocolate, but I figured she probably isn’t eating poop at the table excellent sleuthing, detective

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

my kids are in a phase where one of them will only eat smoked Gouda and the other one will only eat raw fish, they’re practically begging for weird poops

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

looks like Old Man Winter is back on his bullshit

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

there’s weird dreams, and then there’s dreaming that you attended a youth rugby tournament (?) with @sillydingdong.bsky.social’s dad (??)

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

the entire article is just a list of harder drugs?

submitted 29 days ago • 5 comments

wife and kids are spending the day at this idyllic tropical paradise, but I’m heading back to the Airbnb so I don’t miss a minute of the Pro Bowl Games

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

I just saw the Luka news via Shams and it took me a full 90 seconds to accept it wasn’t a fake account or hack

submitted 32 days ago • 2 comments

Impossible to describe the whiplash of spending all day offline at an idyllic tropical beach and then logging on to see headlines like “Trump Sues Japan; Calls PM Ishiba ‘Gaywad’”

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

Dads r up at 1am Hawai’i time learning which shower head pressure setting is the best for breaking up chunks of toddler barf in the drain

submitted 33 days ago • 2 comments

Good buddy works for the US Committee for Refugees and Immigrants. He’s been working with refugee agencies for around a decade. He just texted us this:

submitted 37 days ago • 1 comment

‪I keep having to remind myself that it took the Belichick/Brady Pats 18 years to get six titles. What we’re seeing is unlike anything else. ‬

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Taking my daughter to urgent care. (she’s fine, don’t worry) WIFE: oh but you’ll miss the chiefs game ME, A LITTLE TOO QUICKLY: it’s fine, I’m sure they have wifi

submitted 39 days ago • 1 comment

you’re not an alpha until you’re scared that every facet of society makes you look gay

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

I finally found the coolest person in my town

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

If you opt in to receiving notifications specific to Adam Schefter, ESPN is legally mandated to call your local police department and request a wellness check for you.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

it’s only a Nazi salute if it’s from the Champagne region of Vichy France, otherwise it’s “sparkling fascism”

submitted 44 days ago • 1 comment

nothing makes you question your National Championship dietary choices like cleaning out the crock pot after the velveeta dip has turned back into glue sludge

submitted 44 days ago • 1 comment

thinking about the fact that there currently is a 17 year old somewhere in the greater Miami area who was assigned to stop Jeremiah Smith last season

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

hey wow look OSU finally decided to stop playing conservatively and it worked, weird

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

I’m a big fan of the new Travis Scott song, “Drive Pilot, Mercedes-Benz’s Conditionally Automated Driving System”

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments