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cornshoes.bsky.social
i like reggae and sodium. once i saw a blimp
69 posts 119 followers 179 following
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Posts 25 Comments 25

i’ve never been run over by a car before but i imagine being an out of shape middle aged alcoholic going to their first hot yoga class is a similar deal

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

got shit to do but jerkin off instead call that procrasturbation

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

i feel like bath salts are due for a comeback

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

the guys who make ouija boards are pretty dumb for not doing a qwerty layout

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

i’m pretty sure i was at that party

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

post a picture of yourself so the newbies know who they’re dealing with

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

as you get older you start taking your health more seriously that’s why i’m drinking a tea made by boiling my old electronics so that i don’t end up with a microplastics deficiency

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

they should make an Air Bud sequel where the dog becomes a professional gambler and goes to las vegas for a poker tournament and then gets into serious debt and ends having to do really messed up favors for the mob

submitted 99 days ago • 1 comment

“this is just like 1984” bro you weren’t even alive back then you sound so dumb right now

submitted 141 days ago • 0 comments

handcuffing myself to the door of taco bell until they make bean burritos 99 cents again ✊

submitted 159 days ago • 0 comments

an introduction to topology explained thru learning how to put on women’s lingerie

submitted 186 days ago • 0 comments

gotta hand it to the dude who named an insect a “fly”, absolutely nailed that one.

submitted 206 days ago • 0 comments

manic pixie dirtbag

submitted 214 days ago • 0 comments

i would’ve made that shot

submitted 224 days ago • 0 comments

“Mr. Kaczynski, as your editor may I suggest rewording this to ‘Industrial society and its consequences have been a bit of a mixed bag for the human race’? I mean we don’t want to come off as too alarmist here do we?”

submitted 239 days ago • 0 comments

i was just smoking outside a restaurant and a random girl walking by asked if i was stoked for the evanescence concert just fucking kill me.

submitted 262 days ago • 0 comments

ever drink a bottle of cough syrup and your hallucinations have a getty images watermark

submitted 272 days ago • 0 comments

It's 4/20 and you know what that means That's right - it's the 163rd anniversary of Thaddeus S. C. Lowe making his record hot air balloon journey, flying 900 miles from Cincinnati to South Carolina

submitted 309 days ago • 0 comments

what's the point of circumcising your kids it's not even gonna improve their kickflip abilities

submitted 344 days ago • 0 comments

it’s pretty crazy that lou gehrig ended up getting a disease that has the same name as him like what are the odds of that

submitted 371 days ago • 0 comments

under new cdc guidelines you can now safely eat up to four (4) dollars in small coins

submitted 372 days ago • 1 comment

intentionally making myself a paraplegic so I can get a wheelchair with dual exhaust stacks and roll coal on that bad boy

submitted 393 days ago • 1 comment

babylon bee intern reading from two slips of paper he just drew from a hat: “dentist… identifies as… metallica?” editor: “brilliant. no notes. print it”

submitted 412 days ago • 1 comment

back when i was a kid you would sometimes see dog poop that was white, but you never do anymore why? because of woke

submitted 423 days ago • 0 comments

*breaks through into hyperspace and begins to commune with the machine elves* "this dmt trip is brought to you by Nord VPN"

submitted 436 days ago • 0 comments