cowboysstats.bsky.social
Now-defunct repository of advanced stats and graphics celebrating the human-animal hybrid lifestyle. Saw beauty in the grotesque, and adhered to the Code.
123 posts
489 followers
154 following
Getting Started
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A small group of football fans used to get mad at me for not pronouncing the offense dead on arrival by weeks 3, 4, 5. Every week they were like, "surely you must admit they suck after that display?" And I would just have to put my head in my hands and admit I didn't know anything about the team yet
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mfw the gm asks me to explain general relativity to our vehemently newtonian scouting dept
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📂 Posts that precede an aggressive audit
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ive done the research, ive looked at the facts, ive analyzed the hard data and my conclusion is that youre way more mad than i am right now
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no <3 you're free
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an' plum cordial to follow?
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one of the more wholesome ways the internet has broken my brain
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people always approach me like the dark fire will avail them somehow. i simply have to laugh
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the schotty appreciator has logged on
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Your industry can burn. I will approach you professionally, as I do every activity, but how dare you? You tiny souls. You malignant professionals
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The Fifth Season
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you just gotta down it like moonshine. be a real man
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i have been outwitted, outmatched, bamboozled
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placebo effect
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i barely know what anyone said today
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This dilemma was fact checked by real American patriots: TRUE
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note the crisp details and the clear relationship this image bears to the notion of truth that we have since found so elusive
i've talked with a lot of people and this was the most recent moment when anyone i know felt confident that a shared reality was both knowable and possible to agree upon
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the last confirmed image captured before the split occurred
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think it was in 2022 that he flashed a little bit of real ability to run a workable offense, but his season was cut short. then he did it again in 2024 for almost a full season. still think there's risk of backsliding, but definitely some promise. (just sadly less promising than geno)
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like if he were just a guy who turned the ball over a lot but was really good at completing passes while attacking the full field, and that turnover issue continued for a few years, i'd have been like hmm this dog might hunt. but he was a guy who turned it over and couldn't move the chains at all
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if i were to indulge in darnoldcope, it would be that the specific core areas that made him an almost irredeemable candidate to me through 2021 are the ones where he's made the biggest strides. qb who struggles to complete passes suddenly starts to complete them at a high rate, etc.
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i have never wanted to have an opinion about a 2018 jets draft pick. i never chose this path for myself. i can't honestly tell you how i ended up here
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getting the gang back together: the next market inefficiency?
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searching out live-streams of overweight bears and trolling them mercilessly in the comments
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they're going to 1) build darnold a dome, 2) let him cook
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we're uplifting each other over food takes today. post your praiseworthy food take.
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fwiw a good friend of mine's parents have a small family farm 60 miles west of houston. i've visited a couple times and each time i saw at least a half dozen feral hogs. my friend testified that they were a huge headache. both visits were before the feral hogs post. that is how i knew hogs are real
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Same as ever!
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I'm whatever Cowboys Nation needs me to be
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💙
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we considered retiring together last offseason but he wanted to lace 'em up for one last run at the lombardi
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jerry vindicated! *
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the fantasy version of the Torment Nexus tweet
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ah yes, the guy who co-founded a company named palantir that tolkien would have despised
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We were a blessed people
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My one true and good Mavs opinion is that Dirk Nowitzki walked on water, healed the sick, fed the masses and drained buckets. And they killed him for it
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not a basketball guy but i believe the purpose of a trade in sports is to get some form of value in return
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a soon-to-be first-time father, shaking his head: "that is unethical"
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much to consider
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"if last name schottenheimer, why first name brian? if first name brian, why middle name cornelius?" i don't know. i really couldn't tell you. it's truly baffling. i just know it is not his fault
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i had to issue an apology to my followers when it turned out to be gukesh in 14 instead
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it is not his fault that his name is this silly. he had nothing to do with picking such a goofy combination of syllables. and yet some people think it is ok to make light of the situation