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crazyralph1980.bsky.social
I'm a Messenger of God!! You're doomed!!! You're all doomed!!! Parody!!!!
155 posts 502 followers 507 following
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Posts 21 Comments 29

Dear Lenny Kravitz!!!! Yes I'm gonna go your way!!! There better be a bottle of Johnnie at the end of the goe damn trip!!!!

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

What a god damn day that was!!!!!! #openingday

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

You had me at '9 shots'!!!!!!!!!!!

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Another weekend spent passed out!!!!!!

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Amazon!!!!! Could you please deliver my orders to my homestead?!!!! Not the god damn serial killer's homestead that's 300 feet away!!!!!

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I don't remember that night, but from the looks of the picture everybody god damn wang chunged!!!!!

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Jason got a god damn universal remote and synced it with my bedroom tv! He kept turning my tv up full blast, and I only got 3 hours of sleep! My watch said I slept great! Last week I was passed out for 27 hours and it said I needed to work on my rest! Make it god damn make sense!

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Get back to me when they've shit their pants in 5 countries or territories!!!!!!!

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Beware of the god damn Ides of March!!!

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Is it me or do those first 20 shots of the day make you feel like you can take on the whole god damn Empire yourself?!!!!

submitted 16 days ago • 4 comments

DM of DOOM!!!

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Nothing like watching two assholes throw hands over the last 50lb bag of Ol' Roy while the muzak version of The Heat Is On plays in the background!!!! #walmart

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

Don't forget to turn your god damn clocks back an hour this Sunday!!!!! I wish I could turn mine back to when Jason never existed!!!!

submitted 23 days ago • 2 comments

DM of DOOM!!!!!!

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

My god damn bingo card for the morning didn't have watching two grown men throw down over the last pouch of grape Big League Chew while the muzak version of We Are the World played in the background, but alas, here we are!!!!!

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

I miss the days when a guy could shit his pants and people would just look away and mind their business!!! Now its all, "sir you're going to have to put your items away and leave the store!!!"

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

We're doomed!!!!! We're all doomed!!!!!!!

submitted 39 days ago • 2 comments

Instead of "At Rest," they should have put, "God damn bonkers!!!"

submitted 40 days ago • 1 comment

Ladies! Valentines Day is coming up!! So why not get the guy in your life some of this bullshit?!!! With a rich blend of Johnnie Blue, rotisserie chicken, and pizzeria combos, Ralph's Club is like a Conway Twitty ditty of smells!!! Get some today!!!

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Don't go to Camp Blood!!!!!

submitted 53 days ago • 0 comments