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croakacola.bsky.social
Apparently mostly posting about the things that send me and the people around me to the emergency room now. He/him/they.
85 posts 27 followers 62 following
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I'm almost certain that there's an anime called "Is it wrong to father children while being the first American druid in Diablo to clear Abattoir of Zir?"

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone else baking a potato rn? Oh man, can't wait for this potato.

submitted 70 days ago • 1 comment

I have no idea what happened today. That said, it should happen more often.

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

I made two pies for Thanksgiving and feel like I moved the earth, itself, in my efforts. My mom made like nine different dishes, an additional pie, and an appetizer table, and expressed that she's glad she didn't overstress herself this year.

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

Watching without sound: What the fuck? Why celery? What the fuck? Hey, why the fuck are they... A wok? It's a casserole now? Oh, they put gravy on it, looks good.

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

Winter is beginning, and it's time to air out the bit I do where I tell my dog to be careful jumping up because my sweater is cashmere.

submitted 456 days ago • 0 comments

Me, on my knees: "Master, teach me to hate with the power only you posess." Paquita, pretending she doesn't see or hear me: "Something smells like shit in here."

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

At what must surely be the ugliest courthouse in the country, waiting for robocop to walk through.

submitted 108 days ago • 1 comment

Don't worry, everyone. Donald Trump had a permanently debilitating stroke Thursday and is currently being Daved by an anarchist hairdresser from Chevy Chase, MD.

submitted 110 days ago • 0 comments

Coconut water tastes like if a cucumber could jizz.

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

I would like to see a detective show where you see the murder happen in the beginning, then a weird little cigar-chomping guy in a coat gradually traps the killer into confessing.

submitted 149 days ago • 0 comments

I think the Umbrella Academy tv show just told me to kill myself?

submitted 193 days ago • 0 comments

I have another maiming for you. Yesterday, a woman put her finger down on the table saw blade while doing a multiple pass dado cut (luckily not using the stack, just a normal-kerf blade). Sawstop can only do so much, but she's still going to have a full, working finger.

submitted 209 days ago • 1 comment

J.D. Vance texted me to say he was "coming into the Adirondacks this week." Ok. Cool, dude, but I don't live anywhere near the mountains.

submitted 214 days ago • 0 comments

J.D. Vance sheepishly sneaking a brown-bagged Herman Miller catalog past his living room.

submitted 214 days ago • 0 comments

About ten years ago, J.D. Vance invited me to a private reading from his upcoming novel. I sat on his sofa as he read to me, and let me tell you, I was glued to my seat.

submitted 214 days ago • 0 comments

I hate to be an armchair critic, but J.D. Vance has terrible judgment in who he partners up with.

submitted 214 days ago • 0 comments

Ten minute tiktok dance to The Court of the Crimson King.

submitted 224 days ago • 0 comments

Watching the soccer game drunk and insisting that it's "a real Miss Piggy vs. Kermit the Frog" situation.

submitted 224 days ago • 2 comments

Just got another bill that should have gone to worker's comp, and I am now calling for an ocean of blood over this minor inconvenience.

submitted 251 days ago • 0 comments

Does Scott Bakula have a blues band? He seems like he probably does.

submitted 253 days ago • 0 comments