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custodianofrecords.online
God's only angel. Agitator. [he/him/fae]
2,034 posts 97 followers 122 following
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Posts 42 Comments 7

I honestly don’t hate the picture of all the Chicago cops protecting Tesla because showing a bunch of armed agents of the state openly enforcing Elons will is revealing the truth of our situation much more clearly than anything protestors could show

submitted 11 hours ago • 126 comments

Last month, I said Americans are now involuntary employees of Elon Musk: Our labor will be converted into federal subsidies for his businesses. Now Chicagoans’ tax dollars (including mine 🙋🏼‍♀️) are being used to protect Musk’s capital instead of the people of the city.

submitted 11 hours ago • 87 comments

i am once again begging you to stop wasting horseshoe crab blood on medicines

submitted 10 hours ago • 1 comment

WTF Musk and Trump changed all the clocks in my house?

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

What if instead of Home on the Range, it was called Home on the Buttmunch?

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

There's legitimately blood in the water at this point. Keep attending Tesla protests. Post about it. Solidify the brand's association with Nazi incels.

submitted 1 day ago • 111 comments

They should describe a brand of weed cigars as "real boofy doobers." I think that'd move product!

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

Frank Sinatra more like Frank Singatcha

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

A "tear-jerker" is something that invokes sadness, whereas a "tear jerker" is someone who cranks it so hard they rip their damn penis off.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

They should use computers to solve this whole AI thing. In my opinion,

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

venture capital burned through all of the good “what if a computer could do <x>” business ideas by like 2009 and everything since has required increasingly degrading levels of suspended disbelief. silicon valley must move beyond computers

submitted 1 day ago • 86 comments

They did it. They finally invented an actual torment nexus

submitted 1 day ago • 194 comments

in denmark, great danes are just called great guys

submitted 2 days ago • 14 comments

The third poop of the day is traditionally the “hangover solver.”

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Anybody watching any new pornos?

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

biblically accurate angel who's showing a lot of cleavage: hey pal, my eyes are everywhere else

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

ok

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

<3

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

explaining the rise of modern fascism to an american: imagine a nazi burger

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

I was all the people in the Black or White video. I take vitamins and haven't had botox.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Stop playing the saxophone at me.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 55 comments

If Kanye had needed to reference diarrhea in the song "Flashing Lights" he could have said something like "Pee pee from the poop department." Makes you think.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Until they make a Weirder Al.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Carlos Santana? More like Carlos Guitar-a!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I didn't see it in 2016, but Eric and Don Jr. have a real Sam and Diane energy this time.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

If someone ever called me a Grumpy Gus in public I'd feed them an entire bag of screws.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Oligarchy? Uh, buddy, I ordered the SPAGHETTI!

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Ya gotta plug in a heating pad for it to heat up. Honestly effed up.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I read this as Steve Startups three times before becoming extremely disappointed.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Gotta suck to be one of the other Elon Musks in the world.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

They should make higher ABV canned soups.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

It's the entire email list for all DOGE employees. Have fun!

submitted 3 days ago • 1191 comments

!!!!!!!!!

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Musk is stealing from you

submitted 3 days ago • 8 comments

they're calling millennials "the even greaterest generation" ???

submitted 4 days ago • 45 comments

Dumpo Crumpkin doesn't sound like a trustworthy name.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

It's only going to be like 50 years max before someone mixes up Luigi and Chuck.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 4 days ago • 10 comments

Every time some elected democrat sucks off Reagan, I think about Duane.

submitted 4 days ago • 100 comments