danhopp.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

The challenges on The Traitors every week

submitted 21 hours ago • 0 comments

FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 1965: After five years and seventy million dollars we have invented a new type of plastic that prevents communists from being able to climb ladders too fast FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 2025: My cure for cancer was shelved because it might benefit Hispanics

submitted 1 day ago • 110 comments

You can’t store soup in a square tupperware container, it has to be a round one. Soup is round

submitted 2 days ago • 9 comments

(Shouting over the din of the bar) Hey you wanna get out of here? (Leaning in close to speak softly in her ear) I don’t feel good.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

(Gesturing) Another round of Stalins for the table

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Friend: The bad news is just so non stop, it’s impossible to wrap your head around anything Me (exclusively thinking about this headline): yeah totally

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

“to date?” i’d say the jury’s in on that.

submitted 8 days ago • 9 comments

Pilot: United Airlines is a proud member of the Star Alliance Me (in oldest pair of nylon pants in existence): Noted!

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

This seems unnecessary

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Every four months when there's another D-tier Marvel movie out

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Some of these Super Bowl commercials are so random and I can’t even 🤣🤣

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

This face is SO SAD about its own bathroom policy

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Half serious suggestion: if federal workers want to keep their jobs, they should post a bunch of racist stuff then make it look like they're getting 'canceled' and someone from the Musk team will end up defending & retaining them

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Earnest Posting AFTER DARK: a five-star review of Mulholland Drive boxd.it/8Jq7wT

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

Sometimes I'll just make thumbnail graphics for YouTube videos that don't exist.

submitted 17 days ago • 342 comments

I no longer recognize my country

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

(Dennis Leary smoking 4 cigarettes voice) Hey remember when our entertainment was made by, oh, I don’t know, ENTERTAINERS

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

We’ve officially gone back to “I know the world is on FIRE but” before posting any remotely good life updates

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

The Matthew McConaughey AI ads are beyond baffling — he “used AI” to order clothes but because it’s subpar AI it ordered bad clothes, which he didn’t check and now must buy. He’s AT the store! What problem is this even pretending to solve

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Saw someone respond to a person’s rant telling them they need to “go outside.” It’s pitch black and freezing out! Posting is way more rational than just like going and standing outside

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Musk

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Conspiracy theory that I think is actually just true, every site made sponsored posts WAY more sensitive to click on so they could jack up the clicks, right?

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

Phone has tried to autocorrect David Lynch to “David Lunch” in multiple texts now. What if that’s what I’d been calling him this whole time

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

First David Lynch experience was ordering Twin Peaks on physical Netflix and being sent the first episode AFTER the 60-minute pilot where the murder happens & every character is introduced, and being like "wow people were right this IS trippy"

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Juror #2 (2024):

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Press and hold to load in 4K, my ass (I won’t press and hold to load in 4K)

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Our baby has learned the word “no!” (excitedly shakes her head “no” while continuing to try to bite the oven)

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

The most “2010 internet” coded thing I’ve ever seen, like finding a mosquito preserved in amber but it’s some Tumblr called like MacGyver Cats

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

When you click on a tweet and it unfurls into one of those billion-paragraph bluecheck posts

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Cookie Monster being punished for saying “me want more fucking cookies”

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

All my sponsored Instagram ads are like "Hey elder millennial! The Rapture are back together and touring Echoes front to back in honor of its 100th anniversary!"

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

Saw these on a construction van today, either still leftover from Halloween or it’s just a necromancy themed contractor

submitted 50 days ago • 1 comment

Someone who sounds exactly like Elon Musk calling into Mike Francesa as "Adrian from Ronkonkoma." He wants the Knicks to trade for Jimmy Butler because "aura matters, and his swag is ippic." Francesa sneers "get lawst" and then says "these guys, he was on hold for two ow-uhs for that."

submitted 51 days ago • 34 comments

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

Conclave more like CLOWN CAVE - those guys were nutty!!

submitted 52 days ago • 0 comments

That’s quite a resume! Time to google some more info about this mysterious directing wunderkind

submitted 52 days ago • 2 comments

My mom’s always proudly hated Bob Dylan but she’s also in the tank for any musical biopic so this is gonna be a real unstoppable force / immovable object situation

submitted 53 days ago • 1 comment

Remember in 2013 when people would post “farewell you absolutely fucking SHITWAFFLE of a year” because like James Avery died

submitted 54 days ago • 0 comments

Always afraid when I’m airplaying off my phone I’m gonna use the bathroom and somehow cast my dick to the tv

submitted 55 days ago • 1 comment

Saying “Bengals Broncos” into my voice remote first brought up “Bingles Broncos” then came up as “Bengal’s Bronchus” and that’s more on me than the technology but my broken internet brain now can’t stop hearing the phrase “Bingle’s Bronchus”

submitted 57 days ago • 10 comments