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darthcrater.bsky.social
100 posts 124 followers 132 following
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Posts 22 Comments 28

Her: tell me a secret you never told anyone Me: I cannot cook Rice a Roni to save my life

submitted 45 days ago • 1 comment

🚨…WE ARE BEING TOLD THE FRONT LINE OF THE INSURRECTION HAS MOVED TO THE HOME DEPOT PAINT AISLE. MARINES SUBDUED ONE DIY HOMEOWNER WHO WAS BROWSING CEILING PRIMERS AND TWO SUSPECTED CRAFTERS CARRYING A SUSPICIOUSLY LARGE NUMBER OF BEHR PAINT SWATCHES…SUPPORT DRONES REMAIN STUCK IN THE GARDEN SECTION…

submitted 4 days ago • 84 comments

I'd hate to toot my own horn, but... *toots the absolute fuck out of my own horn*

submitted 10 days ago • 5 comments

no can do I'm too busy putting a bug on a motorcycle and calling him weevil kinevel

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Everyone should feel comfortable with who they are. Everyone should accept someone for who they are. This is very simple.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

What a blessing to finally hear their father's voice.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

“Your new password must contain an Egyptian hieroglyph and a backflip.”

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

RIP Norm

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

sorry i can’t hang out i have plans the plans:

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

I think they took this from Bea Arthur, talking to Rose Nyland. But it checks out.

submitted 26 days ago • 259 comments

Me too

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

jana: [shouting over music] i don’t even know half these people

submitted 32 days ago • 11 comments

ME: holy shit is that the pope?! HER [tugging on my arm]: sit down that’s the bride

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

This is The Last Supper now.

submitted 35 days ago • 260 comments

🤣😂🤣😂

submitted 36 days ago • 1 comment

Me on the toilet: HEY I NEED SOME TOILET PAPER 6: *running around dressed like a mummy* we're all out

submitted 38 days ago • 3 comments

If I said you have a beautiful body would you hold it against the ladder while I clean the gutters?

submitted 39 days ago • 2 comments

Peaches has great friends

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

completed all my tasks for the day, back to wondering if sharks have tongues

submitted 44 days ago • 5 comments

The situation for the Catholic Church is popeless.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Im sorry

submitted 45 days ago • 8 comments

Do people who use bread as a bowl even know it's not dishwasher safe?

submitted 47 days ago • 9 comments