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dereksheen.bsky.social
Comedian, actor, writer, musician and pretty great in the kitchen. My new solo show "MotherL*ver" is coming soon to a town near you. Check out my albums on Apple Music and Spotify! You can find out all about me here: https://linktr.ee/dereksheen
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Posts 37 Comments 13

Fuck yes! This is how it’s done.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I am a man and I have a cold. It was nice knowing you all…

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

I am so hyped for this film and excited to be part of the JITTERS family!! Go check out the trailer and contribute to the IndieGoGo while you’re there! This is gonna be so much fun.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

HAHAHA!!

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I’m at the MAD TV 30 year anniversary show at The Baked Potato on Ventura. I’m the only one here — does it start later? Little help?

submitted 6 days ago • 258 comments

I hope Musk gets Ebola of the ballsack.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

This Les Nessman looking motherfucker is going to get us all killed.

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

ATTENTION ALL LUIGIS!!

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

It would take a 100 monkeys, typing on a 100 typewriters, to make 100 monkey-fur covered typewriters.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

It’s like a comic getting the light and refusing to leave until they get a laugh.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

He looks and sounds like he's trying to elevator pitch the first gay porn action film.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

They way his sycophants applaud and congratulate him for every stupid thing he says, like parents when their infant takes its first solid shit, is astonishing. We’re all going to end up in the cornfield.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

WH press briefings are now indistinguishable from N. Korea: "Democrats keep calling Elon President Musk. When will President Trump deport them?" "Does the President have any weaknesses other than his indomitable strength?" "On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate the President's physique?"

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

We could use some of that January 6th insurrection moxie right about now.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Just remember: it’s always darkest before it’s the most dark.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I’ll start calling it the ‘Gulf of America’ when he starts calling Tiffany…

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

What the fuck is he even talking about and why is he wearing a baseball cap in the Oval and why hasn’t someone slapped that stupid face off of his fucking face?!

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

The hubris of this dumb motherfucker. “I” would own Gaza? Who the fuck is “I”? You buying it with YOUR money or “our” money?

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I wrote this bit that is entirely unrelated to current things

submitted 12 days ago • 159 comments

In some ways I guess I wish we WERE a little more like Germany? At least the part where it’s a felony crime to display a swastika in any form. (this is the only item currently for sale on Kanye’s web store)

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Democrats: “We’re in the minority right now so our hands are tied. We can’t do anything, we’re powerless.” Me, pointing at the Capitol and the Fed on fire: “Republicans have been in the minority for nearly a decade…”

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

He compares himself to Lincoln al the time but we can’t even get him to step foot in a theater…

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I’ll never forget the time my biological father, a career criminal who did hard time for murder AND treason, once said to me, “I bet you’re one of those guys who leaves the water on the whole time you’re shaving”. It still haunts me to this day.

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

This is the time for loud, anarchic and disruptive art.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Didn’t take my antidepressants and just started “Paddington 2”.

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Less like 4 Dimensional Chess and more like 4 Dementia Cheese crooksandliars.com/2025/02/mcen...

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

On the bright side, maybe we’re just headed for an extinction-level event.

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

“Trump’s 11” www.techdirt.com/2025/02/05/a...

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

…maybe we just stop paying our taxes.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

"Grocery Pump"...

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Displacing 2 million Palestinians, by force, from Gaza is ethnic cleansing. Tell me how I’m wrong?

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

There should be no budget deal until Musk and his groyper cadre are exiled from DC. Why would Democrats vote for any budget when the executive has usurped their branch’s budget-setting authority?

submitted 18 days ago • 36 comments

I live in a blanket fort now and I’m never coming out.

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments

Hi! No idea if Bluesky is good for this or not, but I’m coming to Kirkland, WA Feb 13th with my very funny friend, Jenna Nobs, at Side Hustle: Taproom & Experimental Kitchen. Show-8pm and $20 Tickets available here: tr.ee/oWmyhDcWU6 Get ‘em now! it’s a very intimate space and seats are limited.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

I think Americans, blessed with relatively stable government for a long time, assume there is someone, some adult, who will step in and make things right before the President does anything REALLY bad. There’s not.

submitted 20 days ago • 730 comments

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment