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desqry.bsky.social
this page is for Evil Data engineers only!!!!!! benevolent data engineers DO NOT TOUCH!
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Posts 24 Comments 26

SICK AND TIRED of these "0 slide" meetups on #databs!! join my 120-slide meetup where we huddle around a Kodak carousel instead. and don't ask me for a link!, the address will be in the newspaper classifieds

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

MADNESS MADE FLESH IF NOT EXTANT AS MANIFEST GNAWING HUNGER , INEFFABLE HIDEOUSNESS FROM WHENCE IT CAME

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

The Future, from #databs #datasky AI slopposters: computer, can you load up the "data" please? now just give me a machine learning model for "optimize money". save and publish. now please generate a slide deck on money go up -- 4k, Artstation, anime, highly detailed

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

i usually post just trash like a little RAT but today im a "Link Poster" cause if this package dies I will probably cry about it arilamstein.com/blog/2025/02... #r #rstudio #rstats #StatsSky

submitted 21 days ago • 2 comments

im archiving terabytes of gov data today, but also looping through every .xlsx with openpyxl to convert their styles to Comic Sans. this maintains my net-zero karma policy #databs

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

how i feel reading the docs: ah, i have unearthed magnificent erudition, with calloused fingers and bloody palms. my back aches, yet, my mind is strengthened. vs asking a question: umm 🥺 pwease hewp me i broke my wittle babby code :(((

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

I will never understand the interinfluence of b2b SaaS content writers posting like blogger-skinwalkers, then industry bloggers turning around to emulate SaaS slop for their promotional summaries

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

data tags #databs #datasky #dataengineering have rapidly become an inordinate Wall of Brands, and this encroachment will not stand. the fellowship of shitposters must light the darkness, until these devils are remanded to their abyss (linkedin)

submitted 35 days ago • 2 comments

agreed. I have trained since birth to annihilate any code I see. yesterday I cloned and deleted #nixos pkgs 27 times. you can do it for free and the cops can't stop you

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

LGTM? haha, yes, this foolish mortal uttered the sacred phrase. my plan to immolate Prod is almost complete. once more careless eyes gaze upon my heretical branch: once more blood soaks the soil, feeding the Evil therein. complete this PR and bring ruin to your diminutive kingdom

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

naming my #databs dev environment after the necronomicon cause it is full of eldritch terrors and madness grasps anyone who dare read the code within. the mind cannot hope to withstand such an assault

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

I do not want "engagement" on this Web Site. I want precisely one user per month to stumble across these mad scrawlings and feel like they've entered a crime scene by accident,, or contracted a curse

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

you gotta stop playing with me man. I should not be allowed anywhere near this data warehouse. my code reads like a demented grimoire. my dags are ten billion gnarled fingers grasping at smoke. I should be sealed away in the moon for my crimes against cloud computing

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

if you work in #databs long enough your eyes eventually turn milky white and you are granted the clairvoyant ability to see the precise time of death of any dashboard you gaze upon

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

lots of #dataBS nerds build pipelines cause it makes them "engineers" who "get paid" with "money". I do it cause I only belong in the sewer where the pipes are like a filthy little RAT

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

during your next #databs standup please lead a prayer to the innumerable Mass of Bees that run compute in our google cloud centers 🙏

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

when I die it will be after logging in to Microsoft Support Community to drown in the boiling Gore of my enemies

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

#databs thrilled to share I have accepted a new role where I will be wandering through the data warehouse as a Blind Idiot God, leaving a trail of n rows affected from whence I devour, and deleting Tableau dashboards at random.

submitted 85 days ago • 1 comment

frolicked too hard and ended up in the Cursed Micropartition again :(

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

all of my schemas are evil. all my tables are nefarious. I write only in Spiteful Query Language. I hit that compute so erroneous the authorities want me dead. they will never catch me

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

#databs tip: I don't use AI, docs, or stackoverflow when I have SQL questions. Instead, I shoved 80k lines worth of scripts into a folder named "The Great Old One" and just use grep to receive Its primordial whispers

submitted 92 days ago • 1 comment

I will never forgive IBM for fumbling the T in ETL, because it could have been Transmute

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

gonna replace WHERE 1=1 with 1!=2 to measure how apathetic my peer reviewers are

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

ctrl c ctrl v #databs

submitted 96 days ago • 1 comment