devilslattice.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

competing with suburban moms in the seasonal inflatable decor category for the first time and the competition is going to be blown away

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Anyone else’s partner hitting them with “I’m a beekeeper” in an English accent all the time?

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I’m watching one of the “Teen Mom OGs” kids turn 16 and I don’t think I’ve ever felt as old as I did when I remembered their literal birth while looking at them

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Just found a rapper called Baby Eazy-E and what do you know, he’s Eazy-E’s literal baby

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

trying to warm up my body by eating soup but my toes are still cold so maybe I should just stick my toes in the soup instead

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

@bbnomula.bsky.social I’m wondering if you do drugs to your music as often as I do

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

My mom texted me excitedly the other day to say she’s finally socially relevant again because she’s bedrotting

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

It’s fun lately because if I say I saw a douchenozzle driving a douchewagon, everyone knows what I mean

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I was more alarmed that it didn’t say China than I was bamboozled by what country the P.R.C is and I don’t think that was the intention

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Me trying to get my shit together usually feels like when you’re trying to walk up the stairs with too much laundry in your arms and you keep dropping clothing and then tripping on it while trying to pick it up because you can’t see

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

there isn’t anyone to talk to about the movie “stop motion” and that is simultaneously a good and bad thing because wtf

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

can’t be a youtuber because my dog Louis always outshines me with his snore asmr when I try to record my jokes

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

People think writing a script makes things better but I think it actually makes things worse because you can’t say whatever you want

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

It’s actually sad to think that the whole time we thought Garfield was an orphan taken in by John, his father Vic was stopping by to stare wistfully into his living room from a tree

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

doing my best to do the flood the zone move but with jokes. Expecting lots of journalists to follow me now

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I’m not religious but being in a church full of senior citizens that just preach about being nice to everyone and then sing loving songs kind of slapped

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Eating flavoured powders as a dessert is cool because even if you eat 8 tablespoons of iced tea at a time, there’s no evidence in the garbage and you can delay having to explain yourself if no one really opens the iced tea usually

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

a reminder to put a little snicky snacky under your mattress so you have extra energy when combatting a bedroom intruder. Follow to find out what to do in the living room

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

The best thing about awful nightmares is that when you wake up at 3:50am all unsettled you can at least rest assured that no, you didn’t bury that body in the woods and you won’t be going to that police interview tmrw at 2:30. Proud of me. Now, back to sleep.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Expectations vs reality @XCaret Arte. Wtf 😂

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

check out the real situvapetion. wake up and smell the weedses

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Realized I could just come here and froth dumb jokes. Ain’t no stopping me now

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

I am just grateful to have been born on earth. Imagine if you were born on the sun. Yeesh

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My bipolar and my ketamine use would like to inform you all that neither have a set symptom of being a complete douchenozzle. That’s optional and I do it on purpose

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

I fell into a k hole last week where I was informed that reincarnation is real. I was disappointed because I was hoping for more of a one and done dealio. I also saw a rat wearing a birthday hat and manning a crayon drawn boat through space.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments