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distractabee.bsky.social
Trapped in a hell of my own making, inside another, larger hell of someone else's making (Texas)
1,646 posts 269 followers 182 following
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I got so drunk last night, which I never do, and woke up with a bit of a headache and malaise and was like "if I look in the mirror right now I will see a literal monster man or perhaps a pile of dog turds" but I actually looked pretty good. The bedhead was bedheading, the skin was clear.

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

*Colin Meloy voice* We both dug coal together

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

Why do they let him wear his stupid little baseball hat in the meeting.

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

Me, incorrigible: "you were incredible up there. Fuckin love a Cure medium-deep cut"

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Guy absolutely fucking killed "Why Can't I Be You" at karaoke tonight. My friend explained that he started flirting with her on Instagram but he's 27 and polyamorous. No, I'm sorry, you can't get involved in that. We are too old for this shit I don't care how good his Robert Smith is

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Earlier: I don't even want to go to the function anymore, tummy hurts Five drinks later: born to drink Coors banquet and sing bad karaoke, forced to drive da bus

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I sang a Ween song at karaoke and then a guy showed me his Boognish tattoo

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Public launch of the kissy sweater tonight for my friend's birthday, doubling down and adding the earrings

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

ohhh my god you'd be good at macrodata refinement? should we tell everyone? should we throw a music dance experience? should we invite ms. casey?

submitted 1 day ago • 17 comments

Italians have actually never been hotter than this moment in time, which is just one of the many ways you know Rufo is completely out of touch

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

IN THIS HOUSE, LADY RAVEN WAS A HERO, END OF STORY

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

As soon as I get off work a countdown starts over my head by the end of which I absolutely must be nude in my bed or I enter a state of extreme distress and agony

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I joined two open leagues: "For the Girls" and "Rock on, Freaky Bros". I am winning Freaky Bros and eating shit in For the Girls.... Much to think about

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

New giant sweater from @redskyshop.bsky.social acquired. Highly recommend red sky for all your giant sweater and assorted other baggy sack fashion needs

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

We got this Halloween cat house from Aldi and it's very funny still

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

EPISODE 6 JUST DROPPED! GET IN ON IT redcircle.com/shows/gutter

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Help a GOOD dog say GOOD riddance to a BAD leg

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

It happened again (I ate lunch at around 1 pm and now it's six hours later and my stomach still kind of hurts)

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Imagine if a zoomer got isekai'd into The Three Musketeers and ends up having to duel all the Musketeers because he keeps saying "on God"

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

My hands are too tiny for “the bird” to be legible at distance. This is why I prefer the “shape of the L on the forehead.” Just want to get that out there lest I be accused of mincing oaths.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments