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doomedtoflail.bsky.social
18 posts 73 followers 626 following
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When someone comes over to chat while I'm eating

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

DO YOU HAVE MORE THAN TWO TOYS

submitted 5 days ago • 6 comments

never feel more like myself than when the flight attendant looks directly into my eyes and says, "trash"

submitted 6 days ago • 16 comments

Happy Perfect Date Day to all who celebrate

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

¿TRES leches? ¿En esta economía?

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Think of Trump's tariffs as a COVID lockdown, but for goods rather than people.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

75 countries? In the middle of a tariff war? All wanting to speak to the president to kiss his ass? May I see it? WH: No.

submitted 26 days ago • 2 comments

I'm a work, but not in progress.

submitted 13 days ago • 5 comments

Wrong. The cure to male loneliness is a Vulcan science officer. Then, flirting endlessly with him in front of the crew. #StarTrek #Spirk

submitted 20 days ago • 4 comments

People will always say they’re your friend and they support you no matter what but then they’ll say some toxic shit to you like “you have to let go of the cursed amulet, it’s changing who you are” and “don’t let its power corrupt you” all because they want the amulet for themselves

submitted 25 days ago • 138 comments

there are essentially two choices in life. i prefer the former.

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

Me in the national security group chat.

submitted 42 days ago • 12 comments

People are assholes. Don’t be people

submitted 46 days ago • 17 comments

Lady Gaga looks like she's about to tell her men to decloak and fire on the USS Enterprise

submitted 63 days ago • 88 comments

Celebrate International Women's Day by interrupting men with your unsolicited opinions and taking credit for their work. If they get upset about it, be sure to tell them that they sound hysterical and should smile more.

submitted 59 days ago • 367 comments

Not sure how young, gay me missed how hot Mandy Patinkin was in Yentl.

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

Boss: It seems like you don't want to work here anymore Me: Fair but in my defense I never wanted to work here

submitted 126 days ago • 12 comments

submitted 125 days ago • 3 comments

Me @ Christmas:

submitted 135 days ago • 3 comments

What Wilson Phillips never told you, is that you have to hold on for one more day EVERY SINGLE DAY

submitted 160 days ago • 22 comments

Spending the next 4 (probably more than that) years saying “Oh woah he did that? Wow. No way. Who knew he’d do that thing he clearly said he’d do during his campaign. Can’t believe it. Hmm. Dang. You don’t say.” with the blankest stare off into space look on my face.

submitted 178 days ago • 1 comment

"Seymour, the house is on fire!" "No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights." "Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say, you steam a good ham." "Help! Help! "

submitted 196 days ago • 0 comments