Profile avatar
douchemcbaggus.bsky.social
window licker
232 posts 88 followers 192 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
Posts 39 Comments 11

I used to have a songwriter friend who wrote a line I think about all the time: "🎶Lost my medal of Saint Anthony 🎶it was in my old blue jeans 🎶he's the patron saint of lost things 🎶so I don't know what that means" and I just marvel at how utterly perfect it is.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

Be sure to use natural light when photographing your wiener

submitted 8 days ago • 11 comments

On today of all days too. Poor girl

submitted 10 days ago • 13 comments

Guys, Troy Polamalu is visibly aging and I think my penis just fell off.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I'm quietly chuckling at all my MAGA federal coworkers who fucked around and found out.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

There’s a 3 bedroom, 1 bath pothole near my house for the bargain price of two front tires and an axel.

submitted 38 days ago • 4 comments

Thanks to the internet, I now know more about Brooke Shields' vagina than I could've possibly imagined.

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

Looking at the Bonnaroo lineup and it's like reading a foreign language.

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Enough with the hand-wringing... Facebook has always been an unmitigated dumpster fire, Zuck is just finally acknowledging that fact.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Alex Russell Flint (b.1974) is a British artist specializing in portraits and narrative works in oil and charcoal. The renowned teacher Ted Jacobs trained him for many years at Ecole Albert Defois, Jacob's atelier in the Loire Valley. #TheTobogganist #oilpaint

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

My workshop also makes watch faces, but since watches are all about brand power, collaborating with small local watch shops doesn't even generate any buzz🥲 #watch

submitted 52 days ago • 2 comments

My house is so quiet and boring... I should adopt 5 chihuahuas.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Well, my dry January ended up being Jan 1st & 2nd... We can just pick certain days, right?

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Of course this is stupid, but her kids are grown, it makes her happy, and I get treats. Don’t ruin this for me.

submitted 52 days ago • 20 comments

Between cigarettes taking 20 minutes off your life and the new alcohol warnings, I should have died 10 years ago.

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

Kids today will never know the magic of finding porn in the woods

submitted 68 days ago • 9 comments

I'm starting to get off by being stripped searched by the local cops.

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

How do I remove my ex from our wedding videos?

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

Who here has enjoyed smoking cocaine, and crushed quaaludes on top of bong hits?

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

miss the days when porn wasn’t mostly incest coded whatever happened to neighbors, delivery folks & service providers??

submitted 70 days ago • 32 comments

Remember the "death panels" that conservatives whined about several years ago? Projection!

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

Who else feels that's "Dogs" from Pink Floyd's "Animals" is disruptive to their thought processes?

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

Indiana Jones and the Great Circle is a great game. I enjoyed it. Simply gorgeous on xBox Series X and a LG OLED TV. It's a peek into the future of franchise media. Another movie? Nah, let's make it a game. They did, and did it well. Color me impressed.

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

If you have valid reasons, then do what you must. If it's just the politics, please don't move from Georgia. I'm a leftist in Alabama. Time is on our side... or not, but I refuse to run away.

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

We're in a drought here in North Alabama. My backyard birds drank 4 gallons of water from the birdbaths today. I had to refill this afternoon. Never seen that before.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

Sure we rag on recipe blogs for having Tolstoy novels before the recipe but I would also like to rag on Tolstoy for writing War and Peace without the sense to end it with his mother's lemon bundt cake recipe

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

after the holidays im going to get to work getting in shape so i look good next summer when i get arrested for boating under the influence

submitted 87 days ago • 4 comments

I let my son play Unreal Tournament 2004 when he was nine. He's the biggest gaming/computer nerd I know and pisses off his friends because he's so good at it.

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

I'm replaying GTA IV for the first time in 16 years and will fight anybody who doesn't agree that this is best game ever made.

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

So, they're called "skeets," but wouldn't "bleats" be more appropriate?

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

Yo. Don Jr ate a booger‽ who does he think he is, Aaron Rodgers?

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

There should be far more sex-related fitness activities.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

I just knew I should have dumped my Netflix stock last week...

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Is Jake Paul dead yet? All I need is a thumbs-up...

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

I cancelled Netflix a couple months ago and I'm still thoroughly good with that decision

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

steal my catalytic converter, so i know it's real

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Only barbarians and people with dirty assholes don't have a bidet on every toilet in their house.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

The network should outlast the company

submitted 102 days ago • 50 comments