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drinksmcgee.bsky.social
I'm only here to pet pugs. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ciy2cjommq6qpegteeptbstv/feed/aaacyyuczfd5a
380 posts 5,588 followers 770 following
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Posts 45 Comments 5

You first.

submitted 2 days ago • 5813 comments

[sprinkling ibuprofen on my mcflurry]

submitted 2 days ago • 4 comments

yet another spinoff

submitted 3 days ago • 13 comments

I hope I never get a case of the normies.

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

My mom says if we can’t get along everybody has to go home

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

I've never listened to music, is it any good?

submitted 518 days ago • 22 comments

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to be an unreliable narrator when I grew up

submitted 5 days ago • 3 comments

Buy Nothing Day is surprisingly easy when you’re poor and almost every day is Buy Nothing Day.

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

There are two wolves inside me, and both of them are hungry for your blood. They have learned to walk upright on their hind legs, they are beginning to use tools, entering the stone age. I'm sorry, but I cannot stop them. It's only a matter of time....please make peace with your god.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

If you're thinking what I'm thinking, here's my therapist's number.

submitted 2 days ago • 11 comments

ME: i told you not to read that GARY: but i di— ME: but you did anyway and what did it teach you GARY: … ME: go on, say it GARY: to respect the cu— ME: TO RESPECT THE CUM JOKE WARNING GARY

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

HIM: You’ve got some sleep in your eyes. *gently brushing my delicate skin* ME: You’ve got some cum on your dick. *licking my finger and rubbing the spot like a mom quick-cleaning a kid’s face*

submitted 195 days ago • 3 comments

adulthood means finding out that every single one of your childhood fears was totally valid

submitted 3 days ago • 23 comments

*during sex Me: Oh fuck, babe, I’m gonna cum. Her: Yabba dabba doo!

submitted 3 days ago • 10 comments

Yeah, like any of us are "popular with friends."

submitted 349 days ago • 10 comments

Just a girl watching Futurama with her tiddies out.

submitted 15 days ago • 23 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I don't belong anywhere

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

In twilight's hollow, where shadows play I'll whisper farewell, at end of day The cypress trees, they seem to sigh As I depart, into the darkening sky

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Tomorrow is a new day.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

I'm now believing that mankind won't survive social media. We are a lost cause.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Pulling out and finishing on a piece of card stock so she can scrapbook it later.

submitted 13 days ago • 4 comments

I went to a gender reveal party but as the balloon was popped, a foreboding darkness engulfed the heavens, filling the atmosphere with dread and doom. An unholy downpour of blood fell from the sky, soaking the earth. Anyways... CONGRATS ON THE NEW BUNDLE OF JOY, ANDREW & DIANE!

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I'm hoping cupid uses poison-tipped arrows this year.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Cupid will find me enjoying a Friday like any other, drinking a negroni and eating an entire shrimp ring

submitted 14 days ago • 18 comments

*during sex Something smells like my mom.

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

I find I have nothing funny to say these days. My mind is a sea of chaos.

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

*does estate planning for your dead tooth*

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Captain: I'm really nervous about giving this speech. Sun, rubbing his shoulders: Don't worry, big guy. You got this.

submitted 99 days ago • 96 comments

When your baby comes out like a 43 year old man and you're like wtf

submitted 57 days ago • 164 comments

Any funeral can be a Viking funeral if you set it on fire.

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments

Canadian Geese airdropping fentanyl to the US is all part of our master plan.

submitted 23 days ago • 3 comments

Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder name a better couple

submitted 28 days ago • 50 comments

“I think you’ve had enough, sir.”

submitted 29 days ago • 23 comments

___ ┃┃ ┃┃╱╲ In this ┃╱╱╲╲ house ╱╱╭╮╲╲we love to ▔▏┗┛▕▔ ask ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ House it going? ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

submitted 28 days ago • 3 comments

“Siri, call 911!” “To watch Rescue 911 you need the Hulu app” “No! Call for help!” “Now playing ‘Help,’ by The Beatles” “GODDAMMIT, SIRI, I’M STUCK!” “Finding a therapist in your area. You’ll need to unlock your iPhone first”

submitted 28 days ago • 7 comments

having “two wolves inside you” changes meaning pretty quickly at a furry convention

submitted 63 days ago • 4 comments

okay so "in california" wasn't the right answer to my boss asking where i see myself in five years

submitted 29 days ago • 26 comments

"We're going to run the government like a business. And that business... is Boeing"

submitted 28 days ago • 225 comments

When I get nervous speaking in public I just imagine the audience is all skeletons ripped clean of flesh and that calms me right down

submitted 29 days ago • 6 comments

DEI, in the library, with the candlestick.

submitted 28 days ago • 5 comments

I think most of us agree that things seem pretty terrible right now, but we all need to take a deep breath and try to remember that things are going to get terribler and terribler for a long time.

submitted 34 days ago • 38 comments

Inside me are two wolves and now I really regret coming to this furry convention.

submitted 28 days ago • 2 comments

The tree mocks me every damn day.

submitted 29 days ago • 2 comments

Shoeshi

submitted 28 days ago • 312 comments