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eeneymcdeeney.com
Experience the skeets that critics are calling “piss poor” and “I can’t believe I had to write this”
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How big of a forehead do you think the east coast magazines can draw on Elon before someone does something

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

The sports friend you invited to dungeons & dragons night: why do you roll the fucked up little basketballs

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Jesus defending his photography thesis, just a bunch of shots of one set of footprints on a beach

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Putting my headphones on in the coffee shop to listen to the exact same songs the coffee shop is playing but in a different order

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Everyone's gangsta until they are covered in my powerful digestive fluids...

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Midwestern diets have asked a question that modern plumbing simply cannot answer

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Aaron Rodgers following the Packers franchise QB roadmap perfectly- become America’s football hero, go insane, get traded, retire 3 years late

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

come thru bro i’ve got an alien smoking weed and listening to Bitches Brew by Miles Davis. i’m snapping my fingers out of time lol i think it’s having a panic attack

submitted 10 days ago • 11 comments

Based on the little LinkedIn brain teasers, there’s going to be a point where a “brain teaser” is just the word BIRD next to 4 blanks and you have to write the word that matches all 4 letters. Everyone will ask, “did you do the Birdmatch today?”

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry I’m not done with Anubis

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Dav Pilkey’s Dog Man is our modern Anubis

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Anubis approaches the Planet Fitness desk to ask about a membership. Behind the cheerful attendant, the sign reads “No Judgement Zone”. Crestfallen, he takes a dog treat and turns back toward the door

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

RIP Tom Robbins. There goes my favorite author, and my “get a dinner with any famous person” answer. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is moving up the reading list

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

How are news outlets posting real “discussions” about whether or not tweeting 200+ times a day makes you better at your job. It doesn’t! Grow a fucking brain!

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

happy birthday buddy

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

Stop putting up “road signs”. I am not gonna see that shit. I am on my phone

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

They’re gonna let Dril fuck that flag

submitted 17 days ago • 2 comments

Order breakfast, and always swap the toast with one pancake. One pancake is goated

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Ohhh no no no, you’re not gonna fool me, Black Country New Road is folk punk

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Guy who gets groceries at Homegoods

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

God I hope the CIA is planning a real season finale situation

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Chappell Roan has been decidedly quiet on the topic of whether or not the trade war is a good idea

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

You can tell a lot about someone based on their feelings about Trans-Siberian Orchestra

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

Ooh look! www.404media.co/declassified...

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

No such thing as a bad banana

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

I can’t believe everything he said he wanted to do is happening exactly how he wanted it to and the shitdick Democratic Party is too busy buying stocks to do anything. Wow. Unpredictable

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Applied deodorant while listening to Giorgio Moroder and it all canceled out

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

<Jerk off motion>

submitted 371 days ago • 1 comment

Based on my taste for sweets and my weak enamel, there is a god and she’s a dental insurance executive

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

issues with bukowski as a person aside, whenever there's a piece of news about some tech bullshit i think of this poem, and it unironically brings me some peace of mind. on the other hand, we are going to turn all the savannahs into deserts, so...

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Quan 🤝 the beef stew I’m making Rich and homey

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

If any of you fuckers beat me out of artist presale tickets to LCD soundsystem just now, please speak up so I can conduct a formal unfollowing

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

What we have instead of an opposition party is a copy of Robert's Rules of Order that has learned how to do GoFundMes and insider trading

submitted 26 days ago • 52 comments

I am a Necco apologist

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

Is Fargo copaganda

submitted 26 days ago • 1 comment

I think the Palisades fire started because a loving fan mailed Tom Hanks a very rare but VERY flammable vintage typewriter

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

At any point in the last 9 years, across the entire internet, in all discourse, did we do this one

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Work performance reviews are starting and effective use of technology including AI is a rubric item

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

Smegmar Republic

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Just want to formally apologize for wishing that The Apprentice would never get cancelled on that monkey’s paw in 2006

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

MOB GOON, OCTOBER 1994 (JUST KILLED A GUY AND NOTICED THREE FROGS LOOKING AT HIM): well i know yous fellas ain't talkin heh heh heh SAME GOON, JANUARY 1995 (JUST SAW BUDWEISER'S SUPER BOWL AD): i gotta go take care of somethin

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments