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effisp.bsky.social
coughing up a big bug and raising it as my son
3,279 posts 174 followers 204 following
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pelvis resley

how embarrassing would it be to meet someone who's favourite actor was david spade

american servicemen definitely watched the yvan eht nioj simpsons episode too much

i only watch kino

baiting gay bugs bunny into approaching me by dangling a carrot above my ass

if i lived in la i would simply kill the police officers

french guy who was sexually assaulted and recounting his trauma be like: "oui, i was le raped"

i bet clowns have like a 'reverse compensation' thing going on - the smaller the feet the bigger the dick, smaller clown car fitting even more clowns = overcompensating, etc.

german 985

inventing a new colour called scrun (it's what my toilet bowl looks like when i have an icky tum tum)

rip thomas jefferson, you would have loved scuba

posting pictures of my brother and i for his birthday and i photoshopped his head to be 30% bigger so he gets insecure about it

coming out as transatlantic this pride month so i can speak in a funny voice

just had a dream where northernlion looked at my bluesky account on stream and didn't laugh once and now im going to kill myself

proudly announcing my founding of esports team 'homeless men' where i get 5 homeless guys to steal the computers of people who play dota

my barber kissed me on the forehead and gave me a lollipop after he trimmed my beard

the male loneliness epidemic wouldn't exist if we had sleepovers past the age of 18

bluesky is weird af - why the fuck are there so many boomers posting circa 2012 Facebook slop

italian grande would beat the shit out of wicked grande just look at this hood rat

biggest lie ever told

sea captain: yaharr, the wind be blowin' tonight! gay guy called wind:

harriet tubgirl

putting my cats food on a string so i can pull it out and use it again like a coin in a vending machine

justin bieber wouldn't have lasted a day in the 90's boy conglomerate that was the pussy posse

every time a government agency puts me on hold i send thousands of invasive insects to their head office

so your name is barbie, your gender identity is a 'barbie' girl, and the world in which you live is named barbie? im starting to think you made all this shit up

pride months is the time all the gays sit on their eggs to hatch more gays - corporations co-opt it to distract them away from their nests and to steal their eggs

*guy with terrible memory trying to quote borat* quite good!

zack snyder should be given a large amount of money so he never makes a movie again

the sweet potato is escaping from my drain pipe - please send help

what was malcolm in the middle of? bein friggin poor???

looking for the big bitch to my fat fuck. if you look like kathy bates from the titanic apply below

eleanor rigbys jar by the door:

you ever just see a boy cat and know he's gay af?

they should make Ellen go to joe rogans shitty comedy club so she'll know what it's like to be one of her interns

i would use this as my monopoly piece and stab any bitches that try to skip out on paying their rent

the shadow people are talking sweaty, listen and learn

happy tide month everyone *drowns*

party idea!!!! you all come and help clean my house

how to clean foreskin

if i was a famous musician i would hint release dates to my upcoming music in complex terrorist attacks against the united states government

if ghosts existed i think the nazi's would have figured it out when they were researching the occult I'm ww2

going to a random high school graduation and laughing at the kids whose parents didn't show up

abortion doctors should have wwe entrance music to scare tf out of the fetus

getting into the back of a woman's car at the gas station to catch some Z's, and some asshole keeps flashing his lights and honking behind us so i can't get to sleep wtf