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experiencejeff.bsky.social
hi i'm jeff. free palestine
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all i have to say on this matter is that nothing good has happened in this country since they made the designated hitter universal

i've never understood how philly fans fit street poles up their ass

i'm turning all the weird food nuts against seedless fruit. seedless watermelons, grapes, and bananas are unnatural and causing low spirit vibrations or whatever. i'm also convincing them to only eat red delicious apples. hopefully it leads them to suicide

i'm in the youtube comment section of abba music videos posting the IP addresses of everyone who posts asking who else is watching in x year

in this life no one is there to tell you that michael peña is in scientology. you have to fins out on your own

imagine being born after 2006. not even a time person of the year

Walking into the thrift store and immediately having my MK Ultra programming activated by this dresser

anyway, my favorite things in football are when a team goes for it and false start penalties on everyone but the snapper

i would eat some of clifford the big red dog. just to try it. i wouldn't necessarily kill him myself but i wouldn't care if it was natural causes

me: i'm gonna get up and go to a patisserie tomorrow. really in the mood for that my dad: what's that me: it's like a french bakery with like pastries my dad: can you get me a blueberry muffin

really glad my dad is too much of a boomer to understand podcasts. he's either get into the pod save guys or stavros and i don't think i could handle either of those

i was at a caps game and saw a guy in a matt roy jersey. which is insane bc who's buying the jersey of a defensive defenseman. but every time matt roy does something i think "matt roy guy is ecstatic right now"

my 2028 republican presidential campaign platform: - bring animal cruelty back to zoos - abolish the 3rd amendment - release more feral hogs - lower the minimum wage to $2/hr - demote iowa from state to colony

the suffering of detroit will continue until i am righted

i heard china owns gmail and slack @congress

gonna get really into the history of gaul and the gallic empire. what was up with that

technically speaking, apples aren't a berry

now all those tiktok creators will have to get real jobs like assistant business analyst or junior operations coordinator or market development specialist

i'm so hungry rn and this brought me to literal tears

just found out about sushi poutine. mais oui!

maek zuckerberg for 4 million dollars i will come to the facebook office and walk aroind like mad men. inwill sit in meetings with a glass og whiskey and drink it. i will not harass the women secually but i will throw objects above tgeir head to instill fear and remind them they are innthe man dome

a beautiful night to have two beers and watch housr

chicago bears should hirw me and thr boys! we could take that team to a championshop!

just got a call from the san francisco police about my backpack that got stolen back in mid september. they just got to the case but the security footage is already deleted and there's nothing they can do

i showed my little brother balatro and he couldn't stop playing. hopefully he shares it with all of his friends and it cures their addictions to sports gambling

to be fair they did used to have an episode of crash course.

how good would a kicker have to be to go first overall

packers have a chance here in the second half if they can score at least 11 more points than they give up

do you think the amish have anything against bungee jumping. if anything i think they could incorporate it into religious ceremonies. really good lesson about faith there

working on something big

the one situation in which i would take a bribe is if i worked for a bear proof trashcan company and a bear said i could like pet it or something. idk maybe i should demand more for compromising all wilderness trashcans but it really wouldn't take much

sign spotted at the vail yeti hockey game! we love unions and ski patrol!

FINALLY GOT MY BROTHER TO WATCH EVERYBODY WANTS SOME