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fatsgord.bsky.social
Beloved internet personality, tolerated father he/him
152 posts 360 followers 131 following
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Posts 39 Comments 10

I came out this morning and found this flyer on my Honda Odyssey. Just because I own a Honda doesn't mean I condone the man's actions or agree with all of his political beliefs, and I'm a little offended at the idea that I should be held responsible.

submitted 2 days ago • 70 comments

Everyone dots the i's and crosses the t's, but nobody remembers the humble Q...

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 3 days ago • 11 comments

Ironically picking up my own shit. Ironically throwing it at my caretakers

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I haven't "gotten laid" in months as in I was hatched from an egg as recently as several odd months ago

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Got my marriage license, but I need to have my wife emissions tested before I can get her registered

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

The tamer term for "milf" is "oohmommy"

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

They couldn't make Jock Jams today because everyone's a nerd

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

If you say so

submitted 6 days ago • 64 comments

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

don’t meet your heros. i finally saw the critters from redwall irl and they don’t even talk. they’re just pissing and shitting everywhere.

submitted 9 days ago • 30 comments

STOP reading books and START drinking paint

submitted 9 days ago • 46 comments

⚠️FBI WARNING⚠️ Theres this group of narcs and losers called the FBI, and they never let you have any fun

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

The empire is crumbling. The titty is gone. The castigation of breasts is among us. The world is a colder, darker place and it's entirely at the feet of Donald Trump.

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

Sorry, but you're not getting off the ground in one of these

submitted 10 days ago • 29 comments

Ironically I have a lightning scar that lights up around transphobes

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I used to think Smashing Pumpkins was a British band who found pumpkins delightful

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I have this great plan to go bald and get some friar Tuck robes, which I know is how most of my plans start but this one will get me free beer. I put on the robes, fake a German accent, and visit local breweries and go "wow this is just like we make at the monastary. Let me try another"

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Actually I need this leopard print speedo because what if there were leopards outside and I had to blend in to get by them

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I always know I'm asking something stupid when I google it and quora's the top result

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

Single women in my area want to have sex? I don't see what that has to do with me

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

Question for astrologists: What planets have to be where to make everything better? I am willing to go up there and move them myself if I have to

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. Had he lived, today Abraham would be 216 years old and 95 feet tall.

submitted 19 days ago • 37 comments

I keep a stool in the bathroom in case I want to stand on it and see how basketball players piss

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

I love Teletubbies, but I have to skip all the Laa Laa episodes. They're a little too intense for me

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

opening an incognito tab

submitted 23 days ago • 3 comments

Sometimes I'll just make thumbnail graphics for YouTube videos that don't exist.

submitted 24 days ago • 343 comments

Facebook actually showed me something good for once

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Latest Trump order says its blackface history month now

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

If the cops ask, this porn is medicinal

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

In the year 2000 Madonna released music that makes the people come together, music that mixes the bourgeoisie and the rebel, and that's why we will never have communism in the United States

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

I wonder what the Mystery Science Theater crew thought about 9/11. I bet Joel was against it

submitted 25 days ago • 1 comment

I've been reading about the Tunguska meteor incident. I wish something like that would happen at work

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

I totally get where the natives in Indiana Jones were coming from. I bet it feels great catching an archeologist with a booby trap

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine being a Star trek alien and one day some extraterrestrials show up looking just like you, but their foreheads are normal

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

Lifehack: go behind your local McDonalds and eat out of the dumpster

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

If you're familiar with the expanded multiverse canon you'd know most Fats Gordos actually aren't losers so...

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Reminder if you are not autistic do not say Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments